


none Of The Above

by LifezVictory



Series: Inhabitants [1]
Category: Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion
Genre: A Gooder good ending, Alternate Universe, Borderline crack, Canonical Character Death, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Humor, It seemed like a good idea at the time..., Lampshade Hanging, Light-Hearted, Lucid Dreaming, Mild Swearing, Non-Graphic Violence, POV First Person, Pacifist root, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Song : Music You Are A Friend To Me (Jay Althouse), Specimen 1 (Spooky’s jump Scare Mansion) gets hugged, Spooky (Spooky’s Jump Scare Mansion) is a brat, The Protagonist (Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion) doesn't exist, The power of friendship, Toilet humor, Tone goes all over the place at times, Vomit, Weird amalgamation between alternate universe and headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LifezVictory/pseuds/LifezVictory
Summary: I enter the mansion on the mountain, you know the creepy one where no one comes back? Smart idea, right? Anyway, inside I meet this weird red skull thing, who reluctantly joins me on my adventure. Together, we travel from room to room, in hopes of stopping Spooky's evil plan before more innocent lives are TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN ...
Relationships: Original Female Character(s) & Specimen 9 (Spooky's Jump Scare Mansion)
Series: Inhabitants [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753864
Comments: 29
Kudos: 43
Collections: The Gen Sub Hub





	1. In Which I Annoy A Blue-haired Ghost

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Method to Spooky's Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/676354) by Jedi Alice. 



> This fic was originally posted on fanfiction.net, with minimal changes made to it. It was written just for fun and not meant to be taken too seriously, so keep that in mind.

You already know about the mansion, anyone who's anyone knows about the mansion. You know: tall ominous building, lightning flashing all around, no one goes in and comes out in true horror movie fashion? Yup, that one. My point is you already know about it, and you also know that I'm going in it cause how could I **not?** I mean, there'd be no point to this story at all if I didn't.

My point is you already know, so I'm just going to skip talking about it and go straight to talking about me instead so we can get this boring exposition crap out of the way and dive into the story as soon as humanly possible, cause I know that's what you all really want.

So, hi! I'm Zoe! I'm sixteen, but I feel a lot younger. I've got really dark brown hair done into a cute chin-length bob that curls inwards and light blue eyes that get darker closer to the pupil. My favorite outfit (which I'm wearing during this story) is a pair of overalls with a yellow t-shirt underneath. My feet are bare, because feeling the ground underneath me is the best thing ever. Well until you get stung by a bee or step on hot concrete but that's another story.

Okay, exposition over! The mansion door creeks as I open it, as all doors in horror themed crap should. Still, the squeaking is quite annoying, so I open it as quickly as possible. When I head inside (the entrance is beautiful by the way) I'm greeted by, I kid you not, an honest to donkey ghost girl.

"Hello," Says the ghost girl, her voice sounds kind of echoey and auto tuned? Meh, I won't judge. After all this is the first time I've heard a ghost talk. "I am Spooky." She finishes.

"Uh, hate to break it to ya kiddo," I cut her off. "But besides the fact that you're a ghost, a blue haired ghost might I add. Love your hair by the way, is it natural? Probably not... my point is other than that there's nothing spooky about you." I finish lamely. Yeah, being talkative and socially awkward don't mix well, as you can tell. "Oooooh!" I cut her off as she's about to speak again. "That's your name, isn't it? That makes a lot more sense. Sorry, I'm kinda dumb at times."

Spooky waits a minute before speaking, probably making sure I don't cut her off again. I don't though, and she continues. Lightning flashes and too-cliche-to-be-scary organ music plays. I look around. I don't see any speakers ... weird.

"This is my home." Spooky says, she sounds quite proud of herself. "Can you humble player-"

"Okay first of all," I interrupt for the third time. "If you knew me at all, you'd know that I'm **anything** but humble. I'm the most egotistical little brat you'll ever meet. Second, player? Is this some kind of game?"

"It is." Spooky sounds a bit annoyed now. I hold back my laughter. This takes the phrase "disrespecting the dead" to a whole new level. "And to win the game, you must make it through one thousand rooms, and find what's at the end. Or ... is there really an end? Because ... I don't really know."

"How could you not know?" I ask. "This is your ho-"

"Just go." This time it's her turn to interrupt, and before I can get another word in, she's gone. I shrug, adjust my backpack (forgot to mention I had that whoops) and strut off confidently. One thousand rooms? That can't be that hard ... ... ... right?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that i have my braille note back and can actually read this, I'm surprised at how well it's doing with all the typos. please, if you see any point them out, it's impossible for me to catch them all with my screenreader. I'm trying to fix the ones I've found at the moment, but it'll take a while. I probably won't get around to releasing chapter 14 until i'm done with that.


	2. In Which I Get Creative

Things are smooth sailing for a while after that, and for a mansion with TARDIS-like qualities (bigger on the inside) it's pretty boring. Well, except of course for the notes I keep finding everywhere from a guy (or gal? Who the heck knows?) with a weird obsession with romance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging. After all, **I** have a weird obsession with elevators and revolving doors. But even though I think they're cool as heck, I don't talk about them in every other sentence. Now that's just annoying. I mean, is it possible to think someone's voice is annoying even though you've never heard it before? If so, that's how I feel about this person.

It got to the point where I would look and see if the note had the word "romance" or something similar and if it did I'd crumple it up, until I got to the one where they talk about a mysterious bottle of "red wine" that appeared while they were unconscious. That in and of itself is creepy in my opinion, but then they go on to say the taste is "strongly metallic."

"Yeah, that ain't wine, buddy." I say out loud, shuttering. I had so many questions about this. Who's blood was it? Who got it? There's no way you could bleed enough to fill a bottle and stay alive, right? Was the person who drew the blood the same one who brought it to them? I shiver again, this is not a very romantic thought process. Oh crap, now **I'm** doing it!

I put the note down and keep moving. A cardboard pumpkin jumps out at me, making a sound I've only heard once before: when my mom was stupid enough to allow my nieces to "play" the piano we randomly have in the guest room because there's nowhere else to put it. Normally these things had no effect on me, but this time I jumped, making a noise I'll never admit to anyone.

"Darn!" I mutter, hugging the cutout. I'd been doing this to every one that had jumped at me, not quite sure why. Maybe it's because they're cute? Or maybe I'm crazy? Probably a little of both ...

To reassure myself, I open up my backpack and dig in it. Sure enough, the many juice boxes I'd packed were still there. To calm my nerves I open one and drink it all down. The liquid is red, but thankfully it's most certainly **not** metallic tasting. It's not blood, just normal fruit punch. Nothing to worry about I'm not getting thirsty anytime soon. I drop the empty box on the floor (Spooky doesn't have a problem with people leaving notes so I doubt she'll mind this) and continue on.

Nothing else noteworthy (Badum tssss) happens until around room 51. I'd seen rooms with multiple doors before of course, but this one seemed different somehow. There was a door on the left, a short hall leading to a dead end on the right, and a long hallway leading into darkness in the middle.

This **has** to be a trap, it just has to be. There's probably something horrible waiting for me at the end of that hall. But the more I stare into it, the more I want to go down it. Is this why characters in horror media are so stupid? They're just curious?

Deciding on something, I reach into my backpack and pull out a pad of paper and some crayons. I decide on my favorite crayon, dandelion, for the job. I tare off a piece of paper and begin writing my note.

* * *

_Dear Fellow Adventurer,_

_I'm about to do something dumb, and go into the long dark hallway up ahead. I advise you to not do the same. After all, I'll probably get traumatized at the very least. But I'm too curious not to go._

_Zoe_

* * *

I then take out more crayons and draw a cartoony picture of myself screaming and running the other direction out of the hallway, putting the note on the floor picture-side up. That'll surely get a potential readers attention. After all as every good author knows, most people judge your book by its cover. So, you need to be sure you've got a good one.

With one last look at the room, I take a deep breath and head into the hallway.


	3. In Which I Make A New Friend ... I Think?

As I step into the long corridor, it almost feels like I'm being swallowed. The air feels a bit thicker, almost like I'm drowning in it. I force myself to keep calm. After all I knew the risks in doing this, and if worse came to worse I wasn't about to go out like those wimpy side characters in horror movies.

It isn't long until I notice something weird. This hallway has no doors, no windows. It doesn't even seem to change direction. It just stretches on and on, never seeming to end. _Is this some sorta futuristic treadmill, or is Spooky pulling a Super Mario 64 on me?_ I wonder, smirking to myself a bit. normally I'd throw away thoughts like this as merely jokes to myself, but seeing as I'd seen a literal ghost not to long before, there's no telling what could be possible in this place. Was there some sort of collectible I missed that's keeping me from accessing an exclusive area, or maybe-

"Agh! Damn it!" I take a jerky step back, my face scrunched up in agony as I desperately massage my throbbing elbow. Normally I don't swear like that, but as everyone knows, hitting your elbow **hurts.** Like really, really hurts.

I carefully move forward again, investigating what I'd hit my elbow on. It was the wall.

So the apparently endless hallway was changing finally, and not at all in the way I hoped for. The walls began to grow closer and closer the farther I went.

Now, here's something I **still** think was a stupid decision to this day. At this point, I **did** back out, but not so I could escape. Nope, I backed out so I had enough room to turn and start going down the hallway s **ideways.** Great idea, I know.

Sidestepping like this was more than a little awkward, and it got to the point where I had to suck in my belly a bit to fit. But besides going back entirely, I think it was the best decision. Had I continued normally, I'd of probably gotten stuck. **And that's when I felt it.**

I can only describe it as a primal sort of Adrenalin, the sort of thing a rabbit or other small animal might feel when a fierce predator is on their tail. But in all honesty I only remember two things I learned in the next few moments.

1\. Endless claustrophobic hallways are common dwelling places of floating red skulls.

2\. I am surprisingly fast at sidestepping when I need to be.

Everything happened super fast after that. I bolted back to the left, then sprung out of the hallway and fell to the ground. I crawled for a few feet than sprang up, whirling around. A blurr of red rushed me, and rather than screaming and dying right than and there like any other girl in my situation, my reflexes born from summers spent playing baseball with my grandpa kicked in, and clay met palm in a truly magnificent catch, if I do say so myself.

For a moment I just stand there, letting my brain catch up on everything that just happened. The catch kind of stung a bit since I didn't have a glove, but I was only now noticing that as well as my aching knees (presumably from hitting the ground and crawling.) Guess that's what people mean when they talk about going into shock. But back to the weird skull thing. It wasn't the weirdest thing I've ever seen (the weird side of youtube had seen to that) but it was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen **and touched** in real life.

Whoever could sculpt a skull that realistically, I had no clue. I knew it was skulpted though, the feeling of hardened clay underneath my fingers was unmistakeable. There was also a weird quality though, a sort of vibrating and pulsating. Not only that, but I was also starting to feel it struggling in my grip. I quickly grabbed onto it with my other hand, turning it to face me. I stared it down like my mom stares at me when I've done something wrong and don't quite realize yet, which happens more often than I'd like to admit. Even though the skull doesn't have eyes, I can tell he (I'm tired of calling it 'it') is staring back. It's a bit creepy, and I'm not even going to try to win a staring competition with this guy, so I opt for a different technique.

"That was very rude, y'know," I drawl, trying to mimic the tone of a disappointed parent. "Trying to kill me when I was in such a jam. Then again, now that I think about it I don't **know** you were trying to kill me. Maybe you were just in a hurry, coming from a different direction and didn't see me. Aw what the heck, I think I'll give ya the benefit of the doubt." I risk letting go a bit to give the thing a pat (mostly so I can brag about the accomplishment later) and when that didn't result in my painful demise I let go completely. The clay skull just floated still there, staring. Probably waiting to see what I would do next. I inwardly congratulated myself, my plan was working.

The truth was, I **knew** the skull thing was trying to kill me, seriously, why else would he be hear? No wonder Spooky treated getting through one thousand rooms as a challenge, this place was littered with obstacles waiting to stop me in horrific and undoubtedly painful ways. Playing dumb had saved me this time, but I knew it couldn't possibly work every time. I'd need to stay on my toes. either way though, I didn't regret going down the endless hallway. If I hadn't, I would have no clue what to expect. But now that I did, I felt I had a greater chance of survival than anyone else who ventured here. I took the time to add a little PS to my earlier note, saying that I wasn't dead before moving on, finally going through the door on the left. I'd spent way too much time in room 52, if the endless hallway counts as part of that room.

But as I continued on I noticed something that made me wonder if maybe my plan had worked a little **too** well. The clay skull thing was now following me. Not chasing exactly like before, just following. The heck is his deal? Oh well, guess I have a sort of traveling companion now ... I think? Things are getting weird.

* * *

A/N: Hopefully I fixed the weird stuff in chap 2-3, I think it had something to do with copying and pasting the text from fiction pad but if that was the case then why did chap 1 not have the same problem? I repasted the text to see if that would help and it looks like it did. if it didn't though, I'll have to do it the manual way. I hope it doesn't have to come to that.


	4. In Which I Take Multiple Leaps Of Faith

"What color should I use for my next note?"

...

"I used dandelion last time, it's my favorite."

...

"Yeah, I know I **could** use the same one, but that would be boring. Besides, I think I need something that contrasts with the paper a bit more than yellow to get the readers' attention."

...

"That was your cue to give your opinion."

...

"Fine. Be the most boring person in the universe. See if **I** care."

That was how each and every one of the conversations with my new party member had gone. For the past few rooms now he'd followed me, never straying too far away. Like the nice person I am, I'd tried multiple times to start a conversation. Y'know, break the ice, have a laugh, do what you do when you meet a new person. But all he'd do was stare at me, judging. Or at least I think so, it's hard to tell when your companion's just a skull with empty eye sockets. But also, he just seemed like the judging type. His presence was admittedly a little intimidating at first, but after about three rooms or so I started getting used to him.

Though now I think my last comment offended him, because his eye sockets looked a bit darker. Still, there was no way I was surrendering to something without an entire body, so I stared right back. "You're just mad because it's true and you know it." And wouldn't ya know, he backed down after that. Pathetic.

"Well, since **you** refuse to help me, I guess I'll just pick out a color myself than. How about..." I shuffle through my many many crayons, looking for just the right one. I really should try to organize these more, I can barely find what I'm looking fo-"Ahah!" I shout with glee as I find what I'm looking for. "Big dip o'ruby! A lovely shade of red! It's perfect, don't you think?"

...

"...Why am I not surprised? Well just uh ... float there and I'll uh, be done in a sec. Sound good? Yes? Awesome!"

* * *

_Dear Fellow Adventurer,_

_So as you read from my prior note, I survived the endless hallway. Said hallway turned out to be the home of a floating red skull made of clay. We got off to a rocky start, but he's been following me for the passed few rooms and he's pretty good company. But his appearance set my expectations on what this place really is all about, and since I'm so nice, I shall enlighten you as well._

_This is no funhouse, people come in here and don't come out for a reason. There are more creepy crawlies lurking in these rooms, I just know it. So stay on your guard and be prepared to run. Or fight. Or sing The Star Spangled Banner. Whatever the situation calls for._

_Zoe_

* * *

When I was done writing my note, I turned the paper over and colored a picture like last time. This time, I drew the clay skull, much to his bemusement (I think?). I don't want to leave it on the floor as the next person that comes through could step on it, so I instead tape it to the next cutout that pops out at me, which just so happens to be a quite unhappy looking piece of toast. "Hopefully knowing that you are now my official messenger will cheer you up, toasty boy. Or girl ... enbie? Who am **I** to assume the gender of cardboard bread? Is that why you're so unhappy, you're not real bread? Look on the bright side Wheaty, at least no one will eat you."" I say as I finish attaching the note/picture and give the cutout a hug. Skull Guy seems puzzled and a bit annoyed by this, but I just smile and shrug at him and continue onward.

"Y'know," I begin, still not giving up on the whole conversation thing. Even if this guy never talks back, it's still better than talking to myself. "As freaky as this is, I'm also sorta excited. Sure I'm quite possibly in mortal danger, and lord help me when Mom finds out what I'm doing, but ghosts exist! **You** exist! That means that supernatural stuff is real! I knew it! I can't wait to tell everybod-oh! Ewww!"

My foot sinks into something cool and wet. I look down to see my toes are covered in a thick green goop. "Yuck! The heck is this crap?" I wrinkle my nose and step out of the puddle.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who runs screaming whenever they see a bug, (unless it's a wasp) but anyone would be a bit concerned when they accidentally expose their bare skin to unidentified green slime. It oozes out from between my toes like syrup when I manage to get my foot out of it, and squelches disgustingly whenever I take a step.

"I'm starting to think that maybe going barefoot wasn't such a good idea after all." My companion says nothing as usual, but that's the least of my worries at the moment. I plop down on a slime-free spot on the floor, and unzip my backpack, taking out the box of baby wipes I'd packed for a situation like this. Thankfully my skin isn't damaged in any way, and the slime comes off relatively easily. "Ugh it's on my overalls too!" I wine, attempting to clean them as well. It doesn't come off nearly as easily as my foot, but I'll just have to deal with it for now. Once I'm done, I wad the now green-streaked wipe into a tight ball then toss it into the puddle, where it drifts to the center like the yolk of an egg that was just cracked into the pan. I stand up and roll my overalls up to my knees. Knowing my luck, I'll probably encounter more of these gross puddles, and didn't want to deal with more gunk on me than I had to.

I was just about to write a note about my gooey misfortune, but noticed that someone had beat me to it. they had written their letter in red too, but it wasn't quite the same shade as Big Dip O'ruby. "Ooh, a poem!" I say excitedly as I skim over the short note. "Want me to read it out loud?"

"I'll take that as a yes. Eh-eh-ahem!"

* * *

_Spouting, Splashing, Soaking._

_Innards, Injest, Invoking._

_Nailing, Never stops, the Choking_

* * *

"Wow, that's really cree-"

I never finished that sentence, for a loud echoing wheeze like someone having a seriously bad asthma attack sounded from behind me. Skull Guy and I both turn, to see ... **something** ... I don't even know ...

He was humanoid, and looked to be made completely out of the slime I'd stepped in a few seconds ago. Most of him was solid but some of him looked to be thinner and wetter like jello. He had no legs, and one of his hands was missing, his arm simply ending in a stump below the wrist. His other hand was raised like he expected me to give him a high five, but that didn't seem like the best idea seeing as his fingers were tipped in nasty-looking claws. He had no face, no eyes or nose, save for a gaping hole filled with fangs that kind of resembled a mouth. Ribs and collarbones jutted out of his oozing body. did he used to be a human? did he write that creepy poem as he underwent a horrendous transformation? If so, who did this to him? Spooky? She **did** seem a bit rough around the edges when I met her, but surely she wouldn't go this far! ... Would she?

I didn't have much time to think about this though, because even though Goopboy moved slow, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know he was out for my blood. He wanted to splatter it on himself so he'd be painted in Christmas colors. Wow, that was graphic of me, sorry about that. Point is, this guy was not nice and I doubted playing dumb would work like it did on Skull Guy. I had to run.

All the rooms after that were narrow hallways, filled with more of those stupid puddles. I found that a bit weird, since Goopboy was behind me and thus couldn't be making the puddles at that point. Course, he could have passed through the area before ... but then how did he appear from the door I

d just came through? So many questions, and no answers!

I was trudging through my fourth mini slime swamp, when I came to an epiphany. It made me feel a bit stupid though, since in my opinion it **shouldn't** be an epiphany. _Why the heck am I walking through the puddles when I can just jump over them?_ The thought hit me like a lightning bolt, and I slapped my slightly sweaty forehead before leaping from the muck like a playful dolphin. I repeat the process for the next puddle, and the next, and the next.

Seeing that his prey was getting away rapidly despite his efforts to slow it down, Goopboy let out a raspy shriek. It hurt my ears, but did nothing to slow me down.

"So long, Goopboy!" I singsong,

Before long, Skull Guy and I had left the ghastly goopy ghost in the dust.

* * *

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, and I hope you have fun reading it. One more thing before you go, if my self-insert OC becomes too much of a Mary Sue, it's mostly so I don't accidentally say something I'd rather not share. I'm trying my best to avoide it, but let's face it. If you were to write a self-insert fic you'd probably do the same thing, either purposefully or without realizing. It's just so hard to resist sometimes...


	5. RIP Romantic guy

"W-well, this is one way ... to get ... into shape..." I manage to say between gasps. I'd fallen to my knees not long after losing Goopboy, and I couldn't decide if I was taking a bath in sweat, or drowning in it. My companion floated nearby, not looking the least bit tired or winded. In fact, he seemed kind of smug. _Stupid supernatural creatures with their stupid supernatural strength,_ I thought frustratedly.

A lot of the time it was easy to forget about, but the fact is that I was born with Hypotonia, which basically means my muscles are squishier than normal and there's not much I can do to fix it. Having scoliosis and flat feet too doesn't help either. But no way in heck was I going to let this stop me. I would take a quick rest before moving on, even though my feet are starting to hurt.

I pull another juice box from my backpack and gulp it down, sliding to my butt on the floor as I drink. When I'm done, I throw it on the ground like I did the last one, and stand up. I thought about eating one of the snacks I'd brought, but ultimately decided against it as this was only the first monster and there would undoubtedly be even worse things to come.

 **Like that stupid, good-for-nothing elevator!** It looks just like the last one back at room 50 (I'd neglected to mention it because it's a disgrace to elevatorkind) aside from the note. The tables were there, along with the cross (didn't take Spooky to be religious but whatever) and a skeleton-wait, what?

The bones are pure white, not a single bit of flesh left on them. It (or rather he) holds a quill pen in his boney fingers. I gasp. "That's you, isn't it? The romance guy?" I knew the skeleton wouldn't reply of course (though I wouldn't be surprised if he did at this point), it just seemed like the appropriate thing to ask.

I creep forward, barely feeling the floor beneath my feet. The juice I'd just drank forms a whirlpool in the pit of my stomach, and I'm a bit nervous it'll come spiraling out again. This is only the second time I'd seen a dead person in my short life, the first being the funeral of an aunt I'd barely known. I'd touched her hand while looking at the flowers on her coffin, and had done my best to suppress the memory. But now it was all coming back with a vengeance. She had felt so cold, and hard, and unnatural. Don't know if it was those primal instincts that scientists always babble about that caused it to feel so wrong, or something more. Either way, it wasn't something I wanted to relive.

But no matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't look away. This sight made me realize how bad my situation really was even more than meeting the clay skull did. it wasn't that I didn't know I could die; it wasn't even that I didn't take that fact seriously either, well not really. Or maybe I did?

Up until now, I'd treated this whole thing like a fun supernatural adventure. And I'd probably **still** do so, after all it's not a bad coping mechanism. But it really sunk the facts in, better than before. Yes, I"m in danger. Yes, people died here.

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Once I'm calmed down, I realize I have a lot of questions about what had happened here. One of them sticks out at me the most, and it honestly disturbs me to think about.

Spooky had just left his corpse here to rot, assumingly to shock anyone who Inevitably stumbled upon it. Well it did the trick, but it also pissed me off. I shutter to think of what his loved ones would think if they knew the guy hadn't gotten a proper burial.

"This... this is screwed up." I inform my companion. He might not realize the blatant disrespect going on here; after all he did try to kill me when we first met, and he probably doesn't get out of this deathtrap very often. "This is **really** screwed up. I gotta do something."

But what? I was only a hundred rooms in with eight hundred to go, and there was no way I'd be able to drag a skeleton that far. Then I had an idea. It would b sort of crude yes, but it was better than what Spooky did, which was nothing.

I head over to the empty table and take out a piece of paper and a red violet crayon, I felt that it suited the romantic guy's personality. And I wrote my respects.

* * *

Dear Fellow Adventurer,

_So if you haven't figured it out, this is what's left of the romantic guy whos notes you probably also read. I admit I skipped over a few because his dialect wasn't really fun to read to say the least, but now I feel like a horrible person for doing it._

_It's disgusting isn't it? That Spooky just left him here to rot, tossing him away like the two empty juice boxes i'd left on the way here. Can't believe that brat doesn't respect her fellow dead. But there's nothing I can do about it besides this._

_R.I.P. Romantic Guy, ?-? most likely died from thirst and/or starvation. You were just about as eccentric as I am, but like me you are passionate about your interests and I'm proud of you for that. That's not an easy thing to be after all, with all the judgmental people in this world._

_With that, time to ride this god-forsaken elevator and do my best not to end up a forgotten pile of bones._

_Zoe_

* * *

I showed my note/speech to the clay skull, and he approved of it (I think). I didn't draw a picture this time because I was planning to tape it to the cross. I did, then set the whole thing on the skeleton's lap. Much better. Then I packed up my stuff, and pressed the button.

I had to close my eyes again when the elevator started moving. I normally enjoy elevator rides, because as I said before I'm obssessed with them. But this elevator lacked all the things that made an elevator ride fun. No bounce when it finished, no ding when the door opened, and the noise. horrible creaking like it could fall at any minute. For the first time in my life, I could understand the people who were deathly afraid of coming on these things.

After what seemed like forever the awful thing finally came to a stop, and I opened my eyes just in time to notice that rather than the door sliding open, a whole new one had appeared out of nowhere on the opposite side. How I didn't realize this the first time was beyond me, but as I turned around I realized that wasn't the only weird thing.

The skeleton had moved when I wasn't looking. I kid you not, the hand that wasn't holding the quill was now gripping the cross. "what the-did **you** do that? I swear, if you did that ... well you look innocent enough ... let's just get outa here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all I wrote before creating my AO3 account, more will come soon.


	6. In Which Boys And Cookies Are Discussed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to get myself out of the trench of laziness to write another chapter. My description of GL Labs is probably way off due to my lack of vision.

"Uh, what is this?" I ask the clay skull. I'm not expecting an answer, obviously, it just seemed like the appropriate thing to ask. "I thought this was a spooky haunted house, not a lab."

The floor we had ended up on after the impromptu funeral of The Romantic appeared to be some sort of mad scientist's layer filled with pipes, tanks, and computers. One of the said computers caught my interest, it was an old timey looking thing with two bulky generators which were presumabley used to power it. If that wasn't off-putting enough, (expecting a privileged bratty millennial to use a ridiculously outdated machine is a bit much don't you think?) it was stained with something red that I seriously doubted was ketchup considering where I was at the moment.

Still, where there was a computer there was info, and that particular resource was severely lacking at the moment. But I refused to let go of my standards, so before I used this miserable excuse for a computer, it must be cleaned. No exceptions. Well, I guess if mutant robot alien people were taking over the world, that would be an exception, but seeing as that's not currently happening...

I grab a baby wipe from my backpack and begin scrubbing at the computer like mad. The skull watches me clean, staring like it's the most interesting thing he'd ever seen. I glance at him over my shoulder every once and a while.

When I'm done, the computer still has a few red speckles on it, but it's a definite improvement. Now I can use it without losing my dignity. I turn it on and it whirrs to life, humming and grinding lowly. I never thought it was possible for a computer to sound menacing before, I usually found the humming of a desktop relaxing. Ah, good memories of laying on the big bed in Grandpa's room while he worked...

This machine on the other hand held none of that tranquility. The noises it made seemed to say that it had murder on its hard-drive. Not to mention the red static-filled screen. It's probably best if I see what this thing has to offer quickly, I decide.

Hmm... let's see... there are two options.

'enter'

'Exit_program'

Well, that seems straightforward enough. I go to click on enter, than realize something unprecedented.

"Th-there's... no mouse," I breathe. "She's not serious, right? She doesn't actually expect me to use a computer without a mouse like some... like some... barbarian?! I mean living in a killer mansion I can kind of accept, I mean it's not great, but she's a ghost so... but a computer without a mouse!? That's like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without doritos! Missing that beautiful crunch and that intoxicating hint of spice... oh don't look at me like that, you know just as well as me that this is an atrocity! Fine... fine. I'll use the freaking computer. But I won't like it."

Once I'd selected the enter option using the keyboard, I was greeted with yet another menu. Except this one was a lot less straight-forward and a lot more intriguing.

'access_specimen_database'

'modify_house_layout'

"No way!" My annoyance turned to excitement at that second option. Spooky was letting me change the house around? Cool! If it wasn't apparent already, I love doing just about anything that involves imagination and creativity. It kind of sucked that I wouldn't have a mouse to do this with, but I could use a creative break. I selected the option...

Only to have every single one of my hopes and dreams bashed at the error message displayed before me. Part of me had always known this was too good to be true, so I suppose it serves me right to have gotten my hopes up. Maybe I could somehow hack into the system later and screw around with things? That wasn't very likely since I've never learned a string of code in my life, but the thought cheered me up nonetheless.

I decided to look at the first option. I didn't know what these specimen things were, but I guess I was going to find out. Whatever they were, there were certainly a lot of them. Thirteen to be exact.

"Hmmph, figures she'd choose the unlucky number," I mutter.

The first specimen was the cardboard cutouts I'd been hugging along the way. An interesting detail included in the entry was that they weren't effective on subjects that didn't have any pre-existing health problems. Its method was heart attack, and it had killed four people. "So this is like... a wiki for all the things here that'll try to kill me?"

My suspicions were confirmed when the next entry turned out to be GoopBoy. Seeing what his method was, I was happy I'd decided to jump over the puddles. Being torn to pieces was not on my bucket list.

The third specimen was a weird hybrid between a spider and a centipede. Good thing I don't have arachnophobia, Charlotte and Lucas had seen to that. Poisonous bites on the other hand were a whole different bag of chips, but I might not have to worry as the entry stated that this particular creature had not been released yet. Though with how things had gone so far, I seriously doubted I'd be that lucky.

The fourth specimen was the ghost of a japanese girl who I'd guess to be around my age when she died. Her method was consumption, which did not sound pleasant to me but it probably did to some people which makes it all the weirder. I'd have to be careful with this one.

The fifth specimen would have been scary if it hadn't reminded me of the funny story of when my mom wanted a mannequin for Christmas. That was back in the good ol' days, when mannequins actually looked like people, and not headless freaks. Unfortunately, this particular one was the latter. I doubt I'd have any trouble getting past it though, as my will is anything but weak.

I was unable to access any of the entries after that, but I couldn't be too angry. After all, it wouldn't do to become too OP... I guess. Still my memory tends to fail me when I'm running/fighting for my life, so I make a quick note of the entries I could see before logging off.

"Gah!" And the skull is inches from my face when I turn around. "If you're trying to freak me out... it's working. Good job, what do you want, a cookie? Well too bad, I never share my cookies. In fact, I think I'll eat one right now as compensation for that scare."

And that's exactly what I did. It was a really good cookie too, and I took my sweet time chewing, swallowing, and savoring the flavor. Needless to say, it got the intended effect.

* * *

Subject 5 is growing more and more restless. I told Spook we need more funds for sedatives, but she just laughed and flew into the ceiling. Without more chemicals to keep these things docile, I'm not sure how much longer we can keep them here safely.

Generic Lab Assistant

* * *

"...There's a lot to unpack here," I inform my companion. "But the biggest thing is, this is obviously more than a deathtrap. This is a deathtrap with lore." The clay skull seemed unimpressed at my discovery, but I plowed on anyway. "So let's see... Spooky is in charge of a lab with a horrible name, or at the very least funding it, and doing a horrible job from the sound of this note. She doesn't give a crap for her employees, but that's obvious even if you don't read the note. Seriously, who in their right mind would be okay with calling themselves Generic Lab Assistant?"

The skull gives me a look that says, "Get to the point already!" It's amazing how well I'm starting to read him. "Anyway, not only has Spooky refused to take proper safety precautions for this Subject 5 which I assume is one of the specimens I read about earlier, probably Specimen 3 as its entry said it was yet to be released, but she also hasn't bothered to buy proper computers for her employees. So instead they write their crap with pen and paper where anyone can see it. And you know what? I think that's intentional. Why, you ask? Well it's obvious. To scare people. Spooky's obsessed with scaring people, clue is in the name. So it all pretty much boils down to Spooky is a terrible person who kills people and leaves their corpses and notes they wrote prior to their death around to shock her next victims. I'm not sure why she wants to kill even more people rather than just scaring them and leaving it at that, but I will soon. You can count on that." I grin, proud of myself. I decide against writing my discovery down for the next person to find, at least not yet. That next person could be Spooky, and I wasn't ready for her to be privy to my theory yet, if she wasn't already. She might have one of those insta-kill plot devices ready if I go too far. So it's best to wait it out for now.

* * *

I believe Subject 5 is loose. The glass around its container is shattered, and I can faintly hear clicking coming from the ceiling. I don't know what will happen now. If it is out and alive than this is probably my last report. The clicking is getting louder now.

Generic Lab Assistant

* * *

This note confirmed my theory somewhat, but this wasn't the time to celebrate. This situation was all too familiar.

"When I put down this note, or if I leave this room, Subject 5 will appear." I say with certainty. I take a deep breath, straitening my posture and tensing my muscles. "I'm ready."

Sure enough, as soon as I step through the door, a quiet clicking sound can be heard. It's coming from the ceiling, just as the last note had described it. Then something dark brown and shiny darted downwards in the corner of my eye, and I turned just in time to see that it was none other than Specimen 3.

It was long, had tons of legs, pincers, and fangs dripping with venom. Okay I couldn't actually see its fangs, but I knew they were there. It made a sort of gurgling roar as all eight of its eyes focused on me. And that was it for me, I took off running.

The spiderpeed's methods were pretty simple once I figured them out. He would drop from the ceiling, taking about eight seconds to do so. Then, he'd move at about the same speed as Goopboy. After I figured that out, the scare factor wore off. So much so that I wanted to change things up. So I started thinking.

There wasn't anything supernatural about this particular specimen, he was just a really, really big bug. And what reasons do bugs have to chase people? Maybe... he was hungry? How often did the generic lab assistants feed their subjects? What did they feed them? My crazy brain began to come up with a plan. A rather crazy plan, but a plan nonetheless.

I used the next time the spiderpeed dropped from the ceiling to unzip my backpack, and the next to rummage through it. Soon I found what I was looking for, an almost full bag of beef jerky. I had bought it to see what it was like, and didn't like it. Too chewy. But maybe this guy would? There was only one way to find out...

"Hey spidie!" I shout. This surprisingly works in stunning the creature, and I use this time to toss a piece of jerky. The clay skull stares at this, bemused.

The spiderpeed stops in its tracks, surveying the piece of meat on the ground. And then, it devours it. So quickly that it hardly even chews. Is that normal? Do spiders usually chew their food? I don't know, but the point is once it's done something seems different about the whole situation. And as the spider approaches, it doesn't seem like a hostile action, more like your every day dog or cat asking for more food.

"You like that, huh?" I ask, trying not to make any sudden moves. This alliance seems a bit shakey to say the least.

The spiderpeed looks up at me again, making a noise similar to the ones it had before, but a bit quieter. I smile. "Well I have a whole bag of that stuff right here, and you can have all of it, if you let me pass through unhurted." Yeah, I know, unhurted isn't a word but unharmed ain't my style.

The spiderpeed's eyes shine with hunger, but it's not for me this time. Relieved, I toss the bag to the ground and continue on my merry way. Behind me, I hear the unmistakeable sound of plastic being torn apart, followed by the spiderpeed beginning his feast.

* * *

Dear Fellow Adventurer,

You don't need sedatives when you've got beef jerky. Tell that to the generic lab assistants if you ever come across them, will you?

Zoe

* * *

"Hey," I say as we continue our journaey. "Do you think I'd have more friends if I kept that spiderpeed as a pet? Boys might like me more, not that I'm interested. Ace and aro all the way! Still... it would be nice to have a friend who also likes playing in the mud. Yes, I still play in the mud at sixteen, deal with it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A longer chapter to compensate for the wait.
> 
> My self-insert OC not sharing her cookies as a shameless attempt to not turn her into a Mary Sue.
> 
> Generic lab assistant notes included as a shameless attempt to lengthen the chapter.
> 
> Feeding Specimen 3 jerky is something from another fic you can find on fanfiction.net


	7. In Which My Friend Has A Lot Of Explaining To Do

Ding... **dunk.**

"Come on..."

Ding... ding...

"Yes, yes..."

**Dunk.**

"Ugh!"

Ding... ding... **dunk.**

"These puzzle rooms, I swear! Ugh stop looking at me like that! It's freaking frustrating and you know it!"

**Dunk.**

"Okay, you know what? That's it. **I'm done!"** I take a few steps back, bend forward, and ram my head into the mist like a charging bull. There's a sort of glitchy sounding **'d-unk,'** then what little resistance there was vanishes almost instantly and I'm stumbling to a stop at the now visible door. "Can't believe that worked," I pant, wiping the sweat off of my forehead, then wiping my hand on my overalls. I take a few seconds to collect myself. My stomach growls, I should really consider eating soon. But not in here. I don't want to be in this room any longer.

"That was quite the show." That voice. That echowey, autotuned voice. Sure enough, Spooky stands in the middle of the next room, her hands on her hips and a judging expression that could give my companion's a run for its money.

"Well, look who it is!" I chirp with over-the-top cheerfulness. Pretty much all of the respect I had for this ghostly gal was lost at this point, but I couldn't let her know that yet. Not if I wanted to stop her. Wait, what? Where did **that** thought come from? I'll have to think about this more later... Point is, it's best to stick with the oblivious and cute act for now. "As you can see, I've managed to make it all the way here without a single scratch. And, I made a friend!" I gesture towards the clay skull, who has been staring Spooky down this whole time. I guess our feelings about her aren't that different...

Spooky looks mildly surprised, maybe even a little unnerved. But to her credit she holds it together pretty well, cocky attitude and all. "Oh yes, Specimen 9. I thought you were still lurking around here somewhere, but I wasn't sure until now."

"Wait a minute, hold up!" It feels like I have to hold onto my chin to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. "He's a specimen?!"

Spooky nods. "He sure is, the strongest one in fact. Why he hasn't killed you yet is beyond me, but that's not what I came here to talk to you about. There seem to be some... **hiccups** lately on how the mansion's been running, and I was wondering if you knew anything."

I take a deep breath to steady myself, interrogating the clay sk-I mean Specimen 9 would have to wait until Spooky was done with me. Not that that would have much success, but it would still make me feel better. "Depends," I say during the exhale of said deep breath. "Why don't you tell me what these hiccups you speak of are, and I'll see what I can do."

"Okay, first Specimen 2 has been having a temper tantrum for the past few hours."

"Ha! I should have known that guy would be a sore loser. Next?"

"Specimen 3 is being extremely lazy and easygoing."

"Meh, he's just in a food coma. Don't worry, it'll probably ware off in a few more hours. Next?"

"I've been finding empty juice boxes, baby wipes, and wrappers everywhere."

"Consider them to be mementos of my journey. After all, they're not **that** different than notes. Anything else?"

"Uh... no. That's just about it. Though I must say it's surprising that you made it this far what with-hey, what are you doing? W-what-"

"You cannot **take** the **Taker."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first cliffhanger! I’m so evil, I know.


	8. In Which My Logic Is Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this chapter as soon as I posted the last one, but decided to wait a while before posting it to strengthen the effect of the cliffhanger. But yeah, in case you couldn't figure it out ,(I left it a little vague on purpose) Taker talks now. And will be referred to as Taker from now on

"So you **can** talk! I knew it!" There were a lot of things going through my mind, like **a lot!** When that happens, I usually prefer to tackle the positives first. And this was definitely a positive. No more would I have to deal with overly one-sided conversations. "Better yet," I continue. "I finally have a name for you! Taker. Now that's a cool name, much better than Specimen 9. Hey, does that mean the other specimens have names too?"

"Does it not bother you?" Even though this is the second time I've heard him speak, it's no less surprising to me. Maybe it's because I'm so used to him being silent, or maybe it's because his voice sounds like nothing I've ever heard before. It was masculine, but definitely not human.

I had to think about his question a bit before answering. It wasn't really Taker being a specimen that bothered me, it was the fact that I never so much as suspected he was one. I should never have been surprised by the news, after all he had tried to kill me when we first met, I think. That **was** the definition of a specimen around here after all, a supernatural creature who would attempt to kill anyone who tried to get through Spooky's mansion. For what purpose, I still didn't know. But that was something to ponder another time.

Maybe it was because he hadn't once tried to kill me after that, and so I just absentmindedly separated him from all the others.

"Not really," I finally decided on saying. "I mean it doesn't really change that much."

And it didn't. Well except enlighten me to how much I truly didn't know about Taker. At the time, I had just been glad I had someone to share my adventure with, even though said someone had a strong case of silent deudergonist syndrome. Now though, I didn't even know so much as if Taker really was on my side. But I had agreed to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I intended to do so.

"You have a lot to explain though."

And much to my surprise, he agreed. "I will, but not now. We are approaching Ringu's lair."

"Ringu? You mean Specimen 4?"

"Yes."

"So the other specimens **do** have names!"

"Most of them do, yes."

* * *

Ringu's lair turned out to be a series of rooms designed like a school. A Japanese school, if the picture of Ringu on the computer was any indication. Wait, that's a bit racist isn't it? Ringu doesn't have to go to a Japanese school just because she's asian, let's just get that out of the way. The entry had no mention whatsoever that she was Japanese so she could have been from anywhere. But I'd still guess this school was meant to be like a Japanese school because she was wearing what looked to be some sort of uniform that Japanese students would probably wear.

it was also the most crowded part of the manssion. Shadowy children, boys and girls, hung around everywhere, chattering and whispering to each other. It was kinda creepy, but also made me feel... soothed? Maybe because I was used to seeing my classmates doing the same sort of things at my own school, and the familiar setting and behavior relaxed me.

That is, until Taker went and ruined it. "The shadow children are relatively harmless, if you keep your distance they will not kill you." I started to retort, but then stopped myself.

This was the first time that Taker had actively tried to assist me rather than follow silently as I ran and planned for my life. Maybe my concerns, little as they were, were unnecessary; maybe Taker was really on my side despite the whole killer specimen thing. If what Spooky said was true, and Taker really was the strongest specimen in the whole mansion, it wouldn't take a warlord to know he'd be an invaluable ally. It would also give me a **huge** burst of confidence seeing as I'd beaten him pretty darn easily. And if I could beat the strongest specimen like that, then heck! This would be a walk in the park for me! Of course, there's also a possibility that Taker was having an off day or something... Yeah, probably best not to judge my specimen fighting capabilities on that encounter.

It wasn't long before we came upon yet another note.

* * *

_Matsuri never came to class today. I hope she made it home okay._

* * *

"Fake! Fake! Fake fake fake! Fakity fake fake!"

"What made you come to that conclusion?"

I stared at Taker for a moment, completely flabbergasted. "What made you **not?"** I retorted. With no answer forthcoming, I realized I'd have to spell it out. "The first reason is that kids **do not** randomly scribble their worries on any old piece of paper then leave it for anyone to find. Trust me, I know; mostly because I'm a kid myself if you hadn't noticed. If we do so decide to put our fears into words, we do it in a journal. A secure lock or password protected journal tucked safely away from prying eyes."

"Keep your voice down." Taker warned. Sure enough, the nearby shadow kids were hissing and slowly creeping nearer. In no mood to deal with this crap right now, I stuck my tongue out at them and blue a big wet raspberry.

"Pffft!"

This seemed to surprise them so much they were at a loss for what to do, ultimately ending in them giving up and backing off. I smirked before going back to what I was doing like nothing had ever happened.

"As I was saying, we don't do that. Second, Matsuri is a Japanese name, and I'd assume the classmate of hers who supposedly wrote this note was a friend of hers, and most likely also Japanese."

"Your point?"

"Why the **heck** is this note written in english? Well I'll tell you why, because this mansion is located in America, meaning the people who come in here most likely speak english as their native language. And they need to understand what the note says for maximum spoopiness. Yes sir, this is just yet another one of Spooky's attempts to scare people. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that these people or the situation isn't real, it very well could be. But they didn't write this note, Spooky did. Or someone working for her did. Either way, it's fakity fake fake."

"Your logic is sound," Taker concludes after a while of contemplation. I'm not sure if it was my skills of deduction that gave him pause, or the fact that **he** didn't think of the same thing earlier, but either way I decide not to comment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I checked the wiki while writing this chap, and apparently you can only see the shadow kids with a flashlight that the player gets, and they don't move. Well I don't feel like rewriting this chapter to incorporate that,especially since it means the whole raspberry thing can't happen. So consider it a part of the AU.


	9. In Which The Ghost Gets Busted

"...and so he says to the others, 'I saw the next guy coming with pineapples!' Pineapples!" I bursted out laughing at my own gross joke. Taker stares blankly.

"That... was the strangest joke I have ever heard." Well at least he's honest.

"I thought it was something the folks here at the mansion would like, after all it's got everything people are diggin' around here. Death, violence, humiliation... it's got it all. But hey, that reminds me, how many jokes **have** you heard anyway? Cause if you said mine was the strangest, you'd need something to compare it to."

However Taker was going to respond to that, he was cut off by a high-pitched echoey giggle. "Well, **someone** obviously liked my joke." I quip, only to freeze for a fraction of a second when I realized it was none other than Specimen 4, or Ringu, who was doing the giggling. And seeing what I had of this place so far, it was safe to say that the reason for her giggling probably wasn't my joke, to say the least.

"Aaaaand it's time to run again, this is starting to be less scary and more annoying to be honest."

And so we did. well, **I** ran, Taker just kind of floated along leisurely. That's kind of weird now that I think about it, the fact that specimens completely ignore one another when they're in the same room. But no time to think about that now. Now that I think about it, maybe it is.

Like Taker, Ringu also floated at a leisurely pace. And when she spoke (nothing memorable, mostly just "Come here," and "Stop,") it was in a very monotone, and dare I say it? Bored sounding voice. And I began to formulate a plan. It was crazy, but similar on the crazy scail to all the methods I'd previously used to deal with specimens.

"You don't seem to be enjoying this," I say as casually as one can while running from a hungry ghost girl. Said hungry ghost girl didn't indicate in any way that she'd heard me, so I tried again. "Um excuse me, Ringu-Chan?" Welp, looks like exploiting what little I know about Japanese culture didn't work either. Or at least not like that.

I **really** didn't want to have to do this since there's no telling how she'd react, but at this point I didn't have much of a choice. My feet were beginning to hurt something awful and I was starting to sweat profusely. I wouldn't be able to keep up my current speed for much longer. So I took a deep breath and deploy one of the three Japanese words I knew by heart, the one that meant something other than 'hello' or 'thank you.' "Hey! I'm talking to you, **baka!"** That got her attention.

Ringu froze, her black lips parting wide to reveal, surprise surprise, needle sharp fangs. Taker also seemed taken aback, giving me a look that said: 'did you **really** just say that?' I was starting to think that this might not be the bestest idea.

"What did you just..." Ringu sputtered in a voice even echowier than Spooky's, and surprisingly (for me at least) without even the slightest hints of an accent. Kinda disappointing, I always found accents cute. Like the person is super passionate about learning the most complex language out there and is doing their best to learn it, but they can't quite shake their roots. So adorable!

"That's what you get for ignoring me!" I say haughtily. I thought about adding another 'baka' to the end of that sentence, but decided against it since I was pushing my luck as it was. "Anyway, as I was saying, your heart doesn't seem to be into this whole chase thing; so I was wondering if you'd mind telling me what's up with that?"

Ringu's expression was unreadable for a moment, and there were a few moments of silence. But then, suddenly...

 **"IT'S NOT FAIR!"** Jeez, this girl's sscreeching could wake... well, even more of the dead. Not wanting to risk going deaf, I slam my hands onto my ears so quickly that it feels like my brain's rattling around inside my skull. That, or it's from Ringu's screams. But whichever it is, it's not pleasant.

Either Ringu notices my discomfort, or she just decided to tone it down on her own, because the next time she speaks it's at a much more reasonable volume. "I don't understand why she won't allow me to be a part of her army, I mean I'm just as much of a ghost as she is, if not better. Is it because I **chose** to stay behind rather than-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa! Let's take it back a notch. When you say she... are you talking about Spooky?"

Ringu nods. "She is an absolute menace."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out on my own already. What I **haven't** figured out until **now** is that she's got an army? What would a little ghost girl who wants nothing more than to scare and kill a few people, not necessarily in that order, need an army for?"

"It is a ghost army." This time it's Taker that answers my question, I guess he was feeling jealous due to not being helpful or something? This also makes Ringu jealous or something, for she scowls at him, almost as though she didn't realize he was there this whole time. Of course, Taker isn't **at all** deterred by this and just goes right on ahead. "Spooky wants to create an army of ghosts to invade the earth with in order to frighten the masses. But it would be quite difficult to search the world for ghosts since they are so rare; that is where **we** come in."

"You have to die a tragic death to become a ghost," Ringu continues. "And being killed by a supernatural entity greatly increases those chances. I've tried holding some of the souls I myself have harvested to keep them from joining her, but to no avail. They always find their way to her."

"Or, if you're unlucky, and are rejected for one reason or another, you become one of **us.** You forget everything you've ever known, with no choice but to take the dead for all eternity."

"I barely remember anything before arriving here," Ringu confesses. "Just my first name, Ringu, and a few other little things. And you probably will too, seeing as you probably won't be accepted into the army at this point. Spooky has been muttering about you lately, talking about how you're messing with the order of things and are being disrespectful."

"The point is," Taker interrupted, probably getting frustrated about how Ringu was getting a bit sidetracked. "No one has entered these walls and came out alive."

"Except for me." I proclaim firmly before I can stop myself. But I realized that I never really wanted to in the first place. Things had always been leading up to this, I decided, thinking back to that one off little thought that popped up out of nowhere during my last encounter with Spooky. I did want to stop her. If I became famous due to being the only one to make it out and for my tales of the supernatural, that was just a bonus. But what Spooky was doing was totally uncool, and the fact that it had been going on for so long right under everyone's noses seriously pissed me off. Yeah, I was going to stop Spooky, **and** get out alive if it was the last thing I ever d-no, no, bad choice of words. Forget I said that last part.

Meanwhile, Ringu seemed unimpressed with my statement. "Do you really think you're the only one to say that? You're not the first, and you certainly won't be the last. Why not just stay here and let **me** shelter you from the pain. I think I know how to hold you."

"Uh, no thanks." I reply maybe a little too quickly. "Not interested in being lunch. But hey, you know what? You might be able to help me in another way."

Ringu hesitated, most likely trying to seem uninterested. But eventually her curiosity got the better of her, and she caved. "How so?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea why this keeps happening, but here we go with yet another somber chapter. Originally I planned for Ringu to be a bit more of a drama queen about not getting to join Spooky's army but that's not what happened.


	10. In Which Everything Goes To Crap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wiki was a bit lacking when it comes to info about this particular set of rooms, so please forgive me if this chapter's portrayal of them isn't accurate to the game.

_Research Report # 161_

_I'm not a fan of my newest possible recruit, and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. From what I could gather from the notes she's been leaving, the amount of things she's caught onto is rather worrisome._

_Not to mention the thing with Specimen 9. There was always a tiny part of me that thought we might not have gotten rid of him, and it turns out that part of me was right. If that weren't distressing enough, it would seem that Specimen 9 has... joined up with her._

_If he were any other specimen, I'd brush it off as some new method he was trying out, but 9's caused me plenty of problems before, so I don't think it's farfetched to assume that that's not the case._

* * *

"I totally should have expected this," I grumble, tossing away the note. "Slime monsters, huge bugs, japanese ghosts, and now a creepy religious cult."

After chatting with Ringu, Taker and I had moved on to the next floor, and presumably closer to the lair of the next specimen we would have to face. Specimen 5, the mannequin with the huge blade that by the sounds of the notes I just read was worshiped by the creepy cult I'd mentioned earlier. Or it was what they were trying to appease, which I actually wished was the case. Sure, it would mean that 5 was oober powerful, but better that than a group of people who spend their days calling a mannequin 'Mother.' No, just no.

"We will encounter her soon," Taker informed me, thankfully pulling me out of my disgusting thought patterns. Which was good, because from my scribbled out copy of the mannequin's entry from the awful computer, she had some sort of mind powers. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it would probably be best to try and keep my thought processes **at least** PG 13. After all, I didn't know who was looking at them.

"Do you happen to know **anything** about her that could help me here? Any info at all would be **really** appreciated."

It had taken a lot of brainstorming, carefully worded explanations and constantly making sure I wasn't within devouring range, but eventually I'd managed to convince Ringu to fulfill my request. She would speak to every specimen she came across, and we would do the same in hopes of gathering ourselves a specimen army rebellion thing. I hoped it wouldn't have to come to war between specimens and ghosts, but maybe if I could get more (hopefully all but that's a long shot) of the specimens on my side, we could convince Spooky that this whole soul harvesting ghost army thing was wrong and everyone could be in peace, and I could run off into the sunset. Normal hero stuff, y'know? But that also meant there would be more work on my end. Now not only would I have to avoid being killed by the specimens, I'd need to avoid being killed **and** attempt to convince them to join up with me. If that could even be done at all.

But first, we had to navigate this weird combination between a factory and a prison, with most of its doors not even useable. "I could see why a cult would need a prison, holding spaces for sacrifices and all that, but why a factory?"

"Perhaps it was a mannequin factory?" I wasn't sure if Taker was trying to make one of those literal jokes or what, so I just nodded.

"Yeah, I guess that might make sense. Hold on a minute, I'ma write another note."

"Be careful what you mention."

During our little as hush hush as we could get discussion between human and specimens (do you have any idea how hard it is to be in a huddle **and** stay out of devouring range?) we'd agreed that I should still write notes so as not to arouse anymore suspicion, but to be careful of what I said. And now was a good time as any for another one.

* * *

_Dear Fellow Adventurer,_

_Slime monsters, big bugs, Japanese ghosts, and now a cult? I got to hand it to Spooky, this mansion of hers has something for everyone. Or not for everyone, depending on how you look at it._

_Don't get me wrong, this by no means makes what she's doing right, but at least she pays attention to detail. She even seems to have researched the backstory of the monsters, if she didn't just make them up. Either way, it almost makes me look forward to seeing what comes next..._

_Zoe_

* * *

I read over my lavender script a couple times, putting the finishing touches on my drawing of what one of the cult members might have looked like. I hoped that my compliments wouldn't set off any red flags when Spooky read it, I was hoping that she had the mindset of other children I'd come across before, and thought that I'd forgotten about what had happened with the romantic guy and forgiven her for it or some crap. Though those sorts of stunts had never worked on me as a kid I had constantly used it on others. That sounds bad I know, but it was only for small things, like crayons and a turn on the swing.

* * *

When I eventually did run into Specimen 5, I still didn't have any ideas as to how I could convince her to join our cause. How do you reason with a faceless mannequin with a gigantic blade? But I'd have to try. Now let's see... although this thing does seem to have some sort of power, it doesn't seem to be connected with me directly, in that only generic scary things are appearing on the walls and not things that frighten me personally. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I don't have any control myself. After all, my will is quite strong. So much so that I've mastered lucid dreaming, which basically means I know I'm dreaming when I'm dreaming and can control said dream. What if...

While I run through a straight area where I doubt I'll run into anything, I close my eyes and picture the river of blood that I'd just seen on the wall. I then imagined the blood drying and clotting, forming large scabs. Each scab was in the shape of a letter, spelling out the words:

JOIN US

I wasn't sure it had had the intended effect though, until the echoey banging sounds behind me stopped suddenly. Bracing myself for possible disappointment, I open my eyes. And much to my pleasant surprise, the picture on the wall had changed into the one I'd imagined. "Wow, I did not expect that to work!"

Quickly so the mannequin doesn't recover from the shock, I replace the message on the wall with a new message. But blood isn't quite my style so I try something more extravagant. I imagine the letter scabs shrinking and disappearing into dust, which turns into glowing stars whose constellations read as follows:

_YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW HER_

The stars expand and grow until they're a white pair of underwear. A suspicious brown stain on them looks like:

_TOGETHER WE CAN KICK HER BUTT_

Before I can continue my fun, I'm distracted by rapid echoey sounds quickly fading away in the distance. "Oops," I mutter. "I might've gotten a little carried away there."

Taker seemed unimpressed. "You may have just ruined any chance we had of recruiting her."

"So what you mean to say is, I crapped out?"

The exasperated groan that followed my statement could be heard all over the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if parts of this chapter seemed a bit lack luster, I've been (once again) lost for inspiration lately but wanted to give you guys another chapter. Also the AC broke in my house today so that might also have something to do with it.


	11. In Which The Inevitable Happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter I'd like you to know that this is pretty much filler. It's meant to better develop the characters though, in no way is it intended to put off writing Specimen 6 because I don't know how I'm going to do it or anything like that, no not at all. But the thing is, since I write my chapters in the order of which they are laid out, I currently don't know if you can skip this one and still understand the story while I write this note. You should probably read it just to be safe. Don't worry, I think you'll enjoy it. After all, just because it's mostly filler content doesn't mean it's bad. I've actually read/watched a lot of filler that I've enjoyed. Although I should probably get to writing said content instead of rambling in the A/N... I'll do that now.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, and to be honest I was surprised it had taken this long. But the fact of the matter is that running from supernatural creatures, trying to ally with said creatures, charging through puzzle rooms, navigating mazes, writing notes... even a hyper girl like me will get tired out eventually.

And I was tired. And hungry, and thirsty, and my feet hurt so bad I was beginning to wonder if they could fall off. Plus, I was starting to get a headache from the lack of caffeine. I'm a bit of a soda addict you see, but couldn't bring any into the mansion because I only had cans at home and didn't want to risk it exploding all over myself when I opened it. That was a smart move on my part since I'd been doing a lot of running and jumping, but of course it also had negative consequences too. When I went back home, I was going to down an entire twelve pack of Mello Yello in one sitting. Not if, **when.**

After I had yawned for the hundredth time, and the next room turned out to be a bedroom, my mind was pretty much set. "We're stopping here for a bit," I inform Taker, who had seemed to be lost in his own tangle of thoughts for the past amount of time. "And before you say anything, I don't have infinite stamina like you do, and if I run into another monster right now, I'm not sure if I can outrun it. And if I can't outrun it..." I trail off, since the rest of the sentence is pretty dang obvious.

And eventually, Taker relents. "...Very well."

I can't stop myself from moaning in relief as I plop onto the bed, plopping my backpack beside me. I had no clue how stiff my shoulder muscles had gotten carrying it, guess my other aches and pains distracted me from it. I pull my phone and lunchbox out of the pack and start rifling through the former, deciding how much food I should eat in this sitting. I choose one of my sandwiches, some Doritos, and (of course) another juice box.

After I had added the appropriate amount of chips to my sandwich and started chowing down, I took a look at my phone. There's no reception or wifi in here, probably so Spooky's victims can't call for help (not that people would believe them anyway) but I could still get some use out of it. I chose one of the fics I'd downloaded to read offline and read it while I ate. Even though I had read it several times before, it was still just as enjoyable as the first ten times I'd read it. The familiarity of the words relaxed me greatly.

"What are you afraid of?" Taker's question came out of absolutely **nowhere. I look up from my phone and try to swallow my food before speaking, but it sticks.**

"Mmm?" I mumble through the gooey glob of PBJ&D stuck in my mouth, it's all I can do at the moment.

"So far, all the things you have seen here have hardly phased you for more than a moment. Do they even frighten you at all? If not, ... then what does?"

I finally swallow the offending piece of food with help from some juice. I cough a bit before preparing to respond. "Your appearance sorta set the scene for me," I explain. "Once you showed up I knew what to expect, and the fear factor was ... **diminished** from there on out. Plus, now that I have another goal other than just survival, it's even **less** scary. Because I know what's happening and what I'm gunna do, y'know?" I take another bite of my sandwich and go back to my story, letting Taker ponder. The guy needs some time to think. I'd be willing to bet that even though he's not tired on the outside, he definitely is on the inside.

But of course the silence doesn't last long. "You must have **something** that haunts your nightmares, even if it's not within these walls."

I scoff, nearly spitting food all over myself. "Of course I've got stuff I'm scared of, everyone does. Why don't you tell me what **you're** afraid of Taker, maybe that will give me the courage to open up."

"I am **the Taker.** I fear nothing."

"I don't believe that." I reply bluntly.

"Well, that's your prerogative."

Having finished my "meal," I start packing my trash up and lock my phone. "At any rate," My voice is deep and a little slurred as I speak through a huge yawn, "I don't think that's good information to divulge around here anyway. How about we save this conversation for a time when everything **isn't** out to get me?"

"Agreed."

Loosening my overalls a bit so the metal parts of the straps don't poke me, I put my stuff on the ground next to the bed and wiggle underneath the blankets. It's not the most comfortable bed in the world, the sheets definitely don't have a very high thread count and the mattress is stiff, but it'll do for now. I roll over, now facing away from Taker. i was pretty sure I could trust him not to kill me in my sleep, or allow anything else to kill me in my sleep at this point. I close my eyes and take deep breaths, trying to ignore the weird noises resounding from somewhere in the further depths of the mansion.

It hadn't been easy to get here. With an overprotective mom like mine, it's hard to do so much as go to the grocery store across the street by myself. But I'd managed it, somehow. Yeah... I'd... managed...

* * *

"Oh Zoe, what have you done?" I take the neck of the two leader bottle of Mello yello I was drinking directly from out of my mouth, and sit up on the couch. Mom and I were having a relaxing time watching random crap on Netflix together, so this outburst was completely out of the blue.

"W-wha?" I stutter. "What do you mean, Mom? What did I do this time? If this is about putting your diet coke in the freezer—"

"I trusted you to ride your Schwinn trike to school, but instead you decide to go to the absolute **last** place I'd want you to go? A place that **no one has ever came out of?"**

It suddenly feels like I've swallowed a bunch of rocks. "Whoa whoa whoa **whoa** Mom, calm downI-I can explain. See this ghost girl is making a ghost army by killing people with monsters, a-and I'm trying to stop—"

"That's no excuse!" Wow, did my mom **always** have such big teeth? "When you tell me you're going to do something, I expect you to actually **do** that thing!" Wait a minute, the last time I checked Mom definitely didn't have red eyes! And wait, weren't we in our living room before, and not a gladiator pit?

"Yeah Zoe, you're supposed to actually do that thing." That voice. That echowey, autotuned, annoying, singsong, patronizing...

"Yes! That's her!" I shout frantically, waving at the entities suddenly crowding the stands. "That's the ghost girl! And her ghost army, although the last time I checked my classmates were still alive and not part of it. And the monsters! Although... aren't you meant to be sleeping, Cthulhu?"

Said chaotic being just shrugged and took a bite out of his PBJ&D sandwich.

"See, Mom?" I continue to plead desperately. "I'm going to be a hero! I'm going to save the day!"

"But did you **know** you were going to be successful when you entered the mansion?" A deep, growling voice asked from behind me; a voice that did not belong to my mother. "No, of course not. You were reckless, and **stupid.** You never learn from your mistakes."

Almost of its own accord, my body slowly turns to face the source of the voice. Where my mom once stood, there now stands a red horned creature. Even though it doesn't have eyes I can feel it staring directly at me, and I just freeze. I can't move, I can't talk, when I try to scream no noise comes out. "You're never going to see your mother again," the thing informs me. "And it's all. your. fault." I don't need to look at Spooky to know she's grinning sadistically as this scene plays out. Wait a minute...

She's gone. All of them except the creature are gone. Shifting locations, my mom transforming, people I've seen before in the rolls of ones I haven't seen yet, it can only mean one thing...

Suddenly what I like to call the nightmare paralysis wares off, and I'm fully in control of my body again. "This isn't real," I tell the creature, completely matter-of-fact.

"Of course it is!" The thing (which I'm now sure is a demon of some sort) roars out in anger. "You're going to die! You'll never go home!"

"Not that!" I clarrify, almost laughing. Now that I know what's happening, the creature no longer holds any power over me. "I mean... this." I gesture around the gladiator pit, which I now realize is pretty much just my school's gymnasium. "It's a dream. I went to sleep in the mansion, and now I'm dreaming."

The demon seems to have lost wind completely once he heard I knew what was going on. "...oh. What gave it away?"

"A bunch of things," I say vaguely. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to get some rest for whenever I wake up and start moving again. So could you like, I don't know, **get the heck outa my head so I can enjoy my lucid dream in peace?"**

"...Fine." And with that, the thing was gone.

I sigh in relief, willing a basketball into existence and dribbling it downcourt. I don't think that thing was part of my dream, he seemed realer than everything else. He might even be one of the specimens in the mansion. If that was the case I might have just wasted an opportunity to recruit another ally, but oh well, that was a problem I'd solve while I was awake. In the mean time, I'm tired of hanging out in the gym. Hmm... what should I dream about? Well, I like to fly, flying is fun.

And just like that I've sprouted the most majestic wings in existence and am soaring over a stormy ocean. "I **am** going to see my mom again!" I shout over the roaring of the wind and the waves. "I'm gunna go home too! And be a hero!"


	12. In Which We're Highly Strung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we get into this chapter there's a few things I think that it's only fair for you guys to know. See with all of the other specimens (most of them anyway) I had a plan for how I wanted their encounters to go, because they inspired me in some way. With Specimen 6... that's not really the case.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like 6 or anything like that, he just doesn't inspire me like the others. I can't really control what inspires me and what doesn't. I suppose I'm trying to say that I can't promise the quality of the upcoming chapter will be that great, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

_Research Report # 162_

_I now have solid evidence that Specimen 9 definitely has plans other than killing my next possible recruit. She's sound asleep, her guard is completely down. Any specimen would seize this golden opportunity. Every one except 9, apparently._

_My next corse of action will be doing something to prevent whatever 9 is planning, but that'll be difficult since I don't know what 9 is planning. I'll still have to try, though._

* * *

Mmm... feel the ocean breeze...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ah... clear blue skies...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Oh... wow... a cotton candy surfboard...

ZZZZZZ—"AAAAGH! OH, **SHIT!"**

Quick question. Have you ever wanted to be awakened from a nap with a clay skull inches from your face, staring into your soul? No? Well I didn't either, but unfortunately I had no choice in the matter. "What the hell, Taker?" I sputter, breaking my personal record for consecutive swears.

Taker, for his part, seemed completely unbothered by this. "I didn't take you for the swearing type."

"And I one hundred percent took **you** to be the 'staring at people while they sleep' type. After all if you can do it while I'm awake, you'll have even less problem doing it while I'm sleeping." I take a moment to allow my heart to return to its normal resting rhythm before continuing. "How long was I out?"

"About five, maybe six hours. Plenty of time to rest before continuing, in my opinion."

I debated on remarking that his opinion didn't really matter in this case since he didn't need to sleep, but ultimately decided against it. I **had** had a pretty good rest after the whole demon incident, and I felt a lot better. Yeah, I was ready to keep going. So I stretch, yawn, roll out of bed and began packing up my things.

Now that I thought about it, I had been in this mansion for about a day now; I wonder what Mom did when I never came home from school? Probably went over there to ask my teachers... I hope she's not too worried about me, though she's probably living in a constant state of panic at the moment. I wished I could contact her somehow, just to tell her that hey, I'm okay. Just off on a quest of impromptu heroism. I promise to be careful. But of course, thanks to the lack of reception, that wasn't an option. Freaking Spooky... I suppose for now I'll just have to keep going and make it out alive, like I told myself I would... last night? Was it night? It's always lit in here and it's hard to tell through the windows... I'm just going to assume that it was and I'd fallen asleep at my usual bedtime since my body is good like that.

After I've finished packing and used the conveniently placed bathroom next door, we were off. As we rode yet another god forsaken elevator (which thankfully would only appear every one hundred rooms now) I pondered my strategy for dealing with (and possibly recruiting) Specimen 6. According to Taker, 6 was a guy who had turned himself into a puppet, for reasons that I'd need to find out myself. No clue what that meant, but I guess I was going to find out. He also informed me that he couldn't move if we kept eye contact, unless I stayed still for too long. Now, **that** is what I call helpful information. So yeah, as you can see, it pays to have a specimen on your side. They have **all** the juicy info. As for recruiting the puppet guy... I honestly have no idea. I guess I'll have to learn more.

* * *

Well, as you could probably guess we eventually ended up in another room. This room had puppets, masks, and other creepy things. It also, of course, had notes. But these weren't the ramblings of some random victim, oh no. These told a story. A story that I'm pretty sure was made up or otherwise embellished, but I'll give you a short summary and you can decide for yourself.

* * *

So, in an unspecified town in a time that's probably in the olden days since there's merchants, there was a merchant. This merchant made puppets and trinkets, toys and other crap. The kids were like, "Heck yes!"

But the grownups were like "Heck no! We can't make a prophet because this one dude's attracted more customers than we ever could in a lifetime."

"Hey, man! I know what to do!"

"Improve the quality of our products?"

"Nope."

"Come up with innovative new ideas for newer, cooler products?"

"Nope."

"...drop the prices?"

"Nope nopity nope nope."

"Ugh, I give up man, what're you suggesting we do?"

"Let's throw this guy's puppets, trinkets, toys and other crap into the river!"

"...but dude, can't he just make mo-"

"Nonsense dude, it's a great idea!"

"Well okay, if you say so..."

So the grownups threw this guys puppets, trinkets, toys and other crap into the river. "Noooooo!" The guy screamed. "My children are drowning!" Ugh, really? First the whole Mother thing with Specimen 5, and now this? What is the world coming to?

But anyway, the merchant was really sad and mad about this, and he jumped into the river to save his stuff. But he ended up drowning himself. It was probably a grindylow, that's what they're famous for after all. But this tale ain't over yet, because no sooner did the merchant drown that scary things started to happen. Bet you never saw **that** coming.

"Hey, dude?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Look I'm starting to think that your idea of throwing his puppets, trinkets, toys and other crap into the river might not have been the best thing."

"Why not, man? We're finally able to make a freaking living for once!"

"Not all of us."

"What do you mean?"

"Well yesterday Susie May went missing, and when I went to look for her I found this."

"Huh, that puppet looks just like her!"

"And that's not all man, this has been happening to other people too!"

"Okay, but how do you know this is connected to throwing the guy's puppets, trinkets, toys and other crap into the river?"

"I just do, man! I just do!"

Despite this weirdness, the townsfolk were still horrible people and no one lived happily ever after.

THE END

* * *

Sorry about that, that ended up being a little more than a summary. But hopefully you didn't mind. After all, a story is good food for the soul, almost as good as music.

But anyway, I'll bet you're wondering why **I** think this particular tale is fake, or at the very least embellished. Well, I'll tell you. You see, I seriously doubt any town would be **that** cruel. I could be wrong of course (bless my innocent mind am I right?) but I just find this hard to believe. My best theory at the moment was that this story was written by The Merchant himself, and thus he showed the townsfolk in the worst light possible. After all, everyone knows you put a little bit of yourself into every piece of writing you create, no matter how hard you try not to. And this guy... well, let's just say I doubt he was trying not to.

Having a feeling that said writer was in the next room, I take a moment to address my companion. "I've thought of a strategy to get past this guy, not so much recruit him but at least I know how I could get past without dying. Or being turned into a puppet, or whatever he does."

Instead of asking what my strategy was, Taker's response was simply: "Good." Ah, taker. A socially inept guy after my own heart. I guess I'll have to be more specific.

"The strategy involves you."

 **That** got his attention, and he seemed to think about this for a moment. "What is it?"

There we go, the response I was waiting for. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "Well, I'm basically going to do what I guess everyone else does, and walk backwards while looking at 6. What I'd like you to do is go ahead of me and tell me which way to go so I don't get hurt unnecessarily. ... Can you do that for me?"

This caused Taker to think longer than before. Probably something about friendship and trust, and how stupid I was for relying on a powerful killer specimen to guide me. But think about it this way, if he **does** end up betraying me and steering me wrong, or he's simply bad at directions, the outcome won't be any worse if I went it alone and stumbled into stuff like I'm so, **so** prone to doing.

Taker must have came to a similar conclusion, for he agrees. "...Very well."

"Yay! Now let's go, we've got a puppet to run away from!"

* * *

"Left."

"Why do you trust him?"

"Why do you care?"

"Right."

"Are you aware of who he is, child?"

"Left."

"He's not the one chasing me with a needle."

"Right, no wait! My apologies, I meant left."

"Ow..."

"Do you see what I mean now?"

"Nope, all I can see is stars..."

"Left, and then right, but only slightly!"

"Ouch! Okay, let's just get something straight, you did embellish that story, didn't you? The one in the rooms back there?"

"I can assure you that that tale was one hundred percent true."

"Yeah, okay. Ow! Come on Taker, step up your game!"

* * *

A/N: And there I go, writing a big chunk of filler and cramming the actual specimen encounter as a dialogue only section at the end. But hopefully you enjoyed the chapter anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there I go, writing a big chunk of filler and cramming the actual specimen encounter as a dialogue only section at the end. But hopefully you enjoyed the chapter anyway.


	13. In Which We Get A Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little food for thought: I didn't write that whole thing a few chapters ago about my SI hugging the cutouts just for kicks. There's a very good reason; I wonder if you can guess it?

"Ugh," I groan again as I drag my battered body through the corridors. "I wish healing potions existed in real life. That way I could just gulp one down and poof! All better."

"I said I was sorry."

"I know, and I forgive you, but that doesn't get rid of the bruises."

"Hi again!"

"I wish I brought a first aid kit..."

"Why **didn't** you?"

"Uh, ... hey."

"I don't know! I tried to be prepared when I left my house. I brought food, drinks, a toothbrush, and even a portable expanding plunger, but for some reason it never crossed my mind to bring a first aid kit!"

"Why would you need a-"

"HEY!"

Both Taker and I whirl towards the source of the shout, to see a familiar ghost girl floating in the next room. She must've been trying to get our attention for a while because she looked pretty annoyed. Have you ever thought an expression looked bad and good on someone at the same time before? I was having that exact experience. The look on Spooky's face was bad because it made her less cute, good because I was the one who caused it (with Taker's help) and that was oober satisfying.

"Oh, hi!" I said, smiling in what I hoped was an innocent manner. I knew that it was highly likely at this point that Spooky knew I was up to something, but it couldn't hurt to keep up the act just in case she didn't. "Sorry about that, I thought you were one of the voices in my head. They're starting to sound a lot like you, or is it you who sounds like them? Hmmm... but anyway, what's up?"

"I came to... **congratulate** you on making it this far, especiallyconsideringwho'sbeenfollowingyouthiswholetime." Even though she said it under her breath, Taker and I both clearly heard what she said. Taker's expression could kill an entire forest, and as for me... well, can't focus on that right now.

"So," she continues, in her bubblegum quicksand tone (not sure which one of us is more sickly sweet at this point.) "I'm going to give you: this." She pushes a prettily wrapped present from behind her back. INstinctively I start getting excited but stop myself just in time because this is not a loving gift from a friend or loved one; it could very well be a deadly trap. "Enjoy!" She singsonged, floating away.

I can't look at the box without being overcome with Present Fever and thus being unable to think straight, So i focus on my companion instead. He's floating up and down in the air in a slow rhythmic way, probably trying to calm himself down. "What do you think?" I ask quietly, "Should I open it?"

"She likes to prolong her victims' deaths," He exclaimed, still sounding a bit pissed off. "With them expecting it. So I doubt whatever is in there will be deadly. Harmful, however? ... I cannot promise that."

That didn't comfort me that much, but soon my curiosity got the best of me. And I tore open that gift like a dog with a newspaper. Underneath the wrapping paper was, surprisingly, a box. Inside the box was...

"A piece of paper." I moan in disappointment. I know I should just be relieved that it's not anything deadly, but it's a present for donkey's sake! Everyone knows that it's common human decency to put something at least a **little** interesting beneath all those pretty colors.

"Perhaps there is something **on** the piece of paper?" Taker points out, only a little patronizingly.

I slap my forehead. "Pfft! Yeah! Duh! I'll check."

I'd only be really happy if the paper said something like:

* * *

_Hey Zoe,_

_Sorry about all the crap I put you and everybody else through. I'll stop this right now and let you go. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday._

* * *

But of course, I knew that that was most certainly not to be. But I figured that hey, I might as well check anyway.

* * *

_Look behind you._

* * *

"You have got to be kidding me," I moan, but know that I'll never live with myself unless I know what's going to happen. So I take a deep breath, brace myself, and...

"Ugh, I should have expected this to happen." I grumble as I gaze upon the horde of cutouts that just appeared before me. But I face it with a slight smile. I straighten my back and stretch my arms; I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

Noticing my posture, Taker's eyes actually seem to widen a bit. "Oh no," he groans, sounding more pitiful than he'd ever had before, maybe even in his entire life. He knows what's coming. "You had better not be considering what I believe you are considering."

I spread my arms and approach the nearest cutout.

"No! Please reconsider this... human."

That actually made me pause. That's something I never thought I'd be called in my life, outside of if I chose to participate in fantasy or sci-fi role play. "Wha?"

"I don't know your name."

I turn to face him. "Wait a second, just hold up. Are you seriously telling me that after all this time of us traveling together and me writing notes, you never once looked at a single one of them? Not even the very bottom where I signed? Because I've written my first name on **every freaking one.** And you not once considred..." I trailed off, thoroughly flabbergasted.

"I don't make it a habit of reading people's notes."

"And yet you stare at me while I sleep?" It's really hard not to laugh now. "The heck kinda logic is that?"

 **"My** logic."

"...It's Zoe."

"What?"

"My name. It's Zoe."

"Well Zoe, I would highly recommend you rethink your actions."

...

... ...

... ... ...

"...Okay I did, and I still wanna hug the cutouts."

"Noooooo!"

And the hugathon begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I think it's more than obvious by now that I like my dialogue only segments.
> 
> Originally I was going to add Specimen 7's encounter into this chapter I really was, but it's going to lead into something a little serious for our protags, so I figured I might as well just upload something light-hearted first and focus entirely on it on the next chapter. Also I want to start uploading more frequently and since school has now started for me I'll need to make chapters shorter, a little similar to how they were in the beginning, to make that work. Hope you guys don't mind.


	14. In Which Walls Come Tumbling Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you say anything, yeah I know it's a bit of a plothole for Taker to be the ninth specimen and his backstory to make sense, but just roll with it okay? It kinda has to be this way for things I'm planning later.

"The threshold of consciousness," I read aloud, staring at the sign in thought. "Hmm, why do I get the feeling that things are about to get really weird?"

"Because they are." Taker remarked helpfully.

"Oh, well I guess that makes sense then. Lucky for whatever we're about to encounter, I like weird things. Mostly because **I'm** one of said weird things, if you hadn't noticed."

"I noticed."

Sure enough, something pretty weird happens as soon as I took a few more steps. The room blackened completely around us, until it's as though we're standing in a void. But there's something up ahead. Cautiously I move towards it.

"Why, hello there."

"Wah! Talking cat! ... Talking **pink** cat." I don't know why this freaked me out so much. I mean, I'd just recently seen all sorts of things that would give a grown man nightmares, and yet **this** is what scares me? But talking animals weren't usually seen outside of cartoons, and I was okay with that. I mean, it's hard to eat bacon when a pig walks up to you and asks about the weather. But now, here was a talking cat, sitting right in front of me. Could she be Specimen 7? I doubted it, though I wasn't sure why. Even though I had Taker to give me some info, I still wished I ran into that computer again, outdated as it was. Maybe it would let me view more entries now?

"This place can help those who are ready. You seem more ready than the ones who came before you." The Cat continued, ignoring my outburst.

"If by 'ready,' you mean knowing what the heck's happening, then yes. I am ready. ... Wait, ready for what, exactly?"

"Please come forward." There seemed to be something ominous and somewhat final in that sentence, but I didn't really have a choice. So, I keep going. The Cat disappears as I do, and the blackness goes away along with her, only to be replaced by a reddish fog. Then, I got a whiff of the worst smell I'd ever smelled in my life. Think about the smells of rotten eggs, sour milk, sweaty feet, red hot chilly peppers, vomit, and blood. Then add them together and multiply it by a thousand. That comes

 **close** to what it smelled like.

It was all I could do not to throw up. "Oh good lord! What **is** that?"

"Look behind you."

I wasn't sure whether to chastise Taker for using a line we'd encountered earlier, or discover what the heck was stinking so bad. My rational side ended up winning, and I turned around. There, slowly making its way towards me, was a wall that looked to be made out of a bunch of bodies crammed and squished together like McDonald's chicken nuggets. I guess that made sense, after all you wouldn't expect something like that to smell **good.** But... bwegh!

I decided that since what I assumed to be Specimen 7 was moving pretty slowly, I could settle for a jog rather than a full on run. As I jogged, I wondered how I could possibly convince a wall of flesh to join my team. It might not even think or be alive in the same sense we associate with the human experience. I gotta hand it to Spooky. Intentional or not, she sure does make starting a rebellion against her pretty darn difficult.

I was just about to say 'let's just skip this one and run,' when something weird happened. The smell in the air began to change. It now smelled like... burning teeth. I'd recognize the smell anywhere. And... a dentist drill angrily screeching behind me like a poisonous alien insect. I do not like dentists, so this admittedly did freak me out a little, but my euphoria over seemingly figuring out what this specimen's deal was mostly drowned out the feeling. "Oooooh!" I say in victory. "So you're a mental specimen, huh? And unlike Specimen 5, you actually show me what I, in particular, am afraid of. Do you take requests?" No reply, but I expected that. "I won't go as far as to suggest you to turn into something cute and happy, but could you show me a **specific** one of my fears?"

I close my eyes and concentrate, doing my best to telepathically show the specimen what I have in mind. I know I shouldn't really **have** to make any effort since the whole mind reading fear feeding thing is this one's whole deal, but it's surely appreciated, right? Sure enough, I get what I want. But the next few seconds don't go **at all** as planned.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

**SMACK!**

"Oh, crap!"

Just as planned, 7 transformed from a dentist into a wasp. My goal was to catch the wasp in my hands like I saw my grandfather do. I thought that if I could face a bunch of supernatural specimens, surely I could deal with a little wasp, right? ... Wrong. As soon as I saw the thing coming towards me, I proceeded to panic and kill the wasp. And presumably, Specimen 7.

"Oh gosh! Oh crap! Oh no!"

"Oh, excellent job, Zoe. If it is still alive, Specimen 7 will **surely** join us now."

I was just about to lecture Taker about how it's not okay to make people feel worse about accidentally murdering someone, when—

"Indeed we will."

The room goes dark and The Cat appears once again. It might be my imagination, but she looks happy and proud. She addresses me. "You are the first one to make such progress in a long time." No, she **is** happy and proud.

"Um, progress? We? What? Could you explain a little?"

"In some situations, running is the advisable thing to do. However, running aimlessly with no end in sight will get you nowhere. We will help you achieve your goal. You also faced your fear, good job. Oh and do not worry, you didn't harm my other half in any way."

"Yes!" I shout, pumping my fist in the air. Finally! I managed to recruit one specimen to the team! I know it's hardly enough and I still have a long way to go, but I take a moment to celebrate this victory. "You were saying, Taker?"

"...Excellent job."

"Yeah, okay."

The Cat then turned to Taker with a serious expression. This was one of the rare times I got a chance to see two specimens interacting, but I felt like what The Cat was about to say to him was going to be a little personal. But my curiosity got the better of me, and I pricked my ears, while trying to look like I wasn't really listening.

"You're trapped in more walls than those of this mansion. You may wish to consider expanding some of them a bit." Oh, nevermind. Just another vague and cryptic... message? Warning? Who knows? Taker might, in fact he seems a bit bothered by The Cat's words. I decide not to question him on it though, because again it's probably something personal.

There is something I'd like to ask though. Something I'd wanted to ask for quite a while now, but hadn't gotten the opportunity. I was either running for my life, or arguing with ghosts, or choking on peanut butter. But all this talk about mentality and goals really got me thinking hard about it, and I knew I couldn't put it off anymore. So a few rooms later when the euphoria had pretty much worn off, I turn to my specimen companion.

"I need to ask you a question." I tell him, as seriously as I can say anything. He seems to pick up on the seriousness in the atmosphere as a whole, for he takes a few moments to respond.

"Yes?"

I decide to get right to the point. "Why haven't you, not once, tried to kill me again since we first met? What's your goal in following me like this? You've **got** to have one, you don't seem like the person to do anything aimlessly."

An even longer pause this time. Is he not going to answer? Is he backing out on me? "...You... surprised me."

"Yeah, I surprise a lot of people. Mind being a little more specific?"

"Before you, no one has ever survived the endless hallway. They also never used such... **unorthodox methods.** None of them so much as attempted to discover what was really happening here. Too busy trying to survive. Unsuccessfully trying, that is. But you... there is something different about you, Zoe. I'm not sure what it is, but I believe that you have a greater chance than all who have come before you to not only leave this place alive, but end it entirely. Which is what I want. I've wanted it ever since **she** killed me."

"Sorry, what?"

"Take a look at my database entry. You will be able to access it, as well as all of the others now."

I glance around the room. Wow, how did I not notice we were in the computer room again? I guess I was really preoccupied thinking about all this crap. It seems to be the exact same room too, since the computer is still in the mostly bloodless state in which I had last left it. I guess the mansion shifts around from time to time like the labyrinth in the greek mythos. But no time to think about that now, I've got an entry to read. I'd been curious about it ever since I'd first found this computer, and had been wondering when/if I'd get to see what it said.

* * *

_Specimen 9_

_A small skull shaped mass of clay that seemed to gain more form as subjects were TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN TAKEN_

_Specimen was deemed too hard to contain and was killed and dismantled by GL Labs._

* * *

"Hey, did you edit this? Agh!" And of course he's right there behind me, just like the last two times.

"I **know** you got more out of it than that."

I nod, back to being serious. "That I did. For one, it's strange that Spooky cares about containing specimens all of a sudden. I mean, she didn't seem to give a crap about it with Specimen 3, so why would she with you?"

"The short answer is, she didn't. That was simply a coverup because she didn't want to admit that she couldn't keep someone from stealing her souls."

"Okay, you're **definitely** gunna need to elaborate on that."

"Soul harvesting organizations have been around far longer than Spooky has so much as existed. Different reasons, different methods, but the same at their core. I have always been indifferent about them for the most part. I never participated before this one. What I **do** care about however, is being held against my will, and then having most of my memories, power, and body stolen from me in order to build a science defying mansion. If that weren't enough, when I try to take a couple of souls in hopes of replenishing some of it? Smashed with a sledgehammer! It ended up being ineffective yes, but that doesn't mean it wasn't painful!"

I sit there, mouth probably hanging open. So the clay skull wasn't always just a clay skull? And wow, he's really passionate about this. I mean this is the most (and loudest) I've ever heard him talk. I'd probably be mad in his place too, but still. "No wonder you hate Spooky. I hated her because of the whole soul harvesting thing as you called it, but your reason is perfectly valid too and I respect it. Although... three hundred and sixty two isn't exactly considered a couple."

"It's better than becoming a mindless monster or... I'm not sure what to call what Spooky does. The point is it's painless, and they go straight to the afterlife. It's not as though they had a chance of survival anyway."

"But you just said-"

"You're different."

I sigh, defeated. Well, almost. "Look, not to be that person who makes this stupid comment, but there's gotta be another way to at the very least restore your body. I'll sculpt you one myself if it comes down to it. Don't know where I'll get the clay or a big enough kiln, and my sculpting skills could do with some improvement, aaand I don't know how I'll attach it, but I'll certainly try."

That took Taker out of his ranting mood real quick. He didn't seem to know how to respond, probably not used to people offering to help him. Being a soul-eating monster can do that, I suppose. Finally, he settled on. "I... appreciate the offer, but I doubt it would work."

"Well I was mostly offering so you wouldn't take my soul once this is all over." I remark, only half joking. I'm not dumb, I know this is a possibility.

"Killing you would be... a waste if you succeed."

I smile. "Yeah, I'm glad we're friends too. But y'know, you really need to stop trying to scare me. I have enough people doing that already. The next time you do it, I'm gunna throw something at you."

"Yes, of course you are."

"I'm not kidding!"


	15. In Which I Don't Go Axe Crazy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time; sorry about that. I haven't been feeling too great recently, and I've had a lot of homework.

_Research Report #163_

_It seems that every specimen they encounter starts behaving oddly. 4 has become much more active, 5 is hiding in the corner, and 6 actually hasn't changed that much. But it's 7 who worries me most; it has changed more than all of them combined._

_Maybe there's still a way to salvage this situation, though. If I could bring her dark side to the surface, things might get back on track._

* * *

"Hey! Wait up for a second."

Ugh, really? And just when things were starting to go my way... "Hi Spooky." I address the ghost before Taker can; I feel like things would get a lot worse for the both of us if I didn't. "What's up now?" No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my voice neutral. A teeny bit of my anger snuck its way in, and I knew Spooky picked up on it. But chose not to address it apparently, and went on with whatever she was planning.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your progress again. You're pretty much halfway through now, and you're still going strong. So uh... good job."

"Wait, really?" I could feel my eyes widening. Was I really halfway through already? If that was true, I might be done by tomorrow! But I shouldn't get my hopes up; Spooky has proven herself to be quite the trickster in the past.

Spooky nods; was that a smirk that flashed across her face for a second there? "Yup, halfway through!" She singsongs. Then she mutters under her breath: "I'm surprised, too."

 _Why you little-_ "Anyway, I figured that it was time you got a little, uh... **upgrade** if you will."

"Upgrade?" This was getting more suspicious by the minute. What is this kid up to?

"I have another present for you. Don't worry, I promise it's much more useful than the last one."

 **Clunk!** An axe appears from out of nowhere and falls to the ground in front of me, barely missing my bare toes. I jump back in alarm, unsure at first if I'd become an unwilling amputee. "Argh! Hey! What the hell are you trying to do you maniac!?" I yell in outrage, my resolve to block out negative emotions around said maniac almost completely forgotten.

"Tuh-duh! Your very own weapon!" Spooky replies with a big smile, as though she didn't just nearly chop my foot off, or break some bones at the very least. For all I knew it might have been on purpose, and was now secretly disappointed that it hadn't worked. That seemed more likely the more I found out about her.

"Thanks, but no thanks." I say firmly, giving the axe a wide birth as I stepped around it and headed for the door. "I've got a good thing going here, and I don't need some heavy sharp thing ruining it."

Spooky moves to remain in front of me. "Are you sure?" She croons. "It could be useful."

"Yes. I appreciate the offer, I really do, but no. I'm good." I was lying through my teeth; we both knew it. Why would I ever appreciate what she was trying to pull on me? Why would **anyone?** Just looking at that axe made me feel like something bad was about to happen.

"Well... okay. Suit yourself. But you might—" Having enough of her crap, I step back and ram through her like I'd done so many times before with the mist in the puzzle rooms. I almost didn't expect it to work, but it did. And soon I was casually strolling into the next room as if nothing had ever happened.

"Why did you do that?" Taker asks once we're both pretty sure we'd left Spooky far behind. Unlike a lot of things he says, the question lacks his usual judgemental tone. Could this have to do with our little heart-to-heart earlier? Or was it just a fluke. I couldn't tell for sure, and I wasn't willing to guess.

"My gut tells me not to take axes this fall from nowhere and nearly cut my foot off. My mind tells me that whatever reasons Spooky might have for giving me said axe, none of them are good ones."

"What do you suppose those reasons might be?"

"She might be trying to make me more violent so she can groom me to become a specimen. She might be I'm somehow dumb enough to kill myself with it. She might even hope that I might... for some reason... try to... w-wich would probably result in my death anyway."

I couldn't make myself say the third reason, no matter how gard I tried. As well as I was starting to know Taker and how his mind worked now, I couldn't say for sure how he'd react to me proposing that Spooky wanted me to be her hitman (hitwoman?) and attempt to pull off a hit on the one who was causing so much trouble. I could never do that, especially now that I could for sure call Taker my friend. Even if it guaranteed my victory against Spooky, I could not do it. I wasn't sure if Taker felt the same way, would he kill me if it meant easily achieving a goal? I still couldn't be sure about that. I mean, he did say it would be a waste to do so, but that was if I managed to do what he used to think was an impossible task...

Wait, maybe Taker hadn't had a friend before, or at least none that he could remember. It would explain why he seemed so aloof, and sometimes awkward. Was he on good terms with anyone before me? Did he have a family? Or a creator? Where do clay babies come from? ... Okay, I'm getting off track. The point is, Taker probably didn't know what friendship was or how it worked, so that could only mean one thing... I'd have to teach hm.

Oh gosh, it's almost like I've been sent into one of those girly cartoon shows. I know it's an improvement from a killer haunted house but... ugh. What's next, am I gunna start barfing rainbows or something? Oh well, I'll teach him in a less direct and more real world situation sort of way to compensate. Hopefully that'll make this whole thing feel less like the way a cheap artificially flavored candy tastes.


	16. In Which Spooky Claims Another Victim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I'm going to kill someone off in this chapter. Reader discretion is advised, especially if you're a millennial. Why? Well, one way to find out...

The rooms we ended up in shortly after leaving Spooky behind were seriously confusing my brain. On the one hand, they seemed to be real outdoor areas, but on the other... they really, really didn't. I think the biggest indicator of this was that there was no wind. At all. Not even a small breeze. The air was deathly still, the area completely silent. "If Spooky gives names to each specimen's area in the mansion, she should call this one 'Uncanny Valley.'" I joke to my specimen friend in hopes of lightening the mood. Taker seemed unimpressed.

"It isn't a valley, though."

"'Uncanny Forest,' then. And hey, look. Someone wrote a note."

* * *

_For a while I thought I had really escaped this place. But despite the trees and flora, I think this is actually just another room. However I've found deer, so I might at least get to eat. They make some strange sounds though..._

* * *

"Yeah, I seriously doubt those are deer." I point to one of the creatures the author of the note had been referring to. It looked normal enough, peacefully grazing on the "grass." But knowing this place, it's most likely anything but. "Or at least, not normal ones. And what's with referring to trees and flora as separate things? Trees are plants just as much as flowers are! Taker, we have a treecist on our hands!"

"Is this **really** what we should be focusing on right now?" Taker grumbles exasperatedly, but I refuse to give in.

"Well... yeah. If I don't, I'll forget about it. It's like late at night when I'm in bed and about to fall asleep, and I'll think of a really good question to ask Google. But I don't, because I know if I do, I won't get any sleep. So I'm like: 'okay brain, remember this for tomorrow.' And it **never** does. It goes into short term memory and gets dumped out during my sleep, when I try oh so hard to put it into long term memory. Or at least until tomorrow term memory. If brains don't have that already, they totally should."

"Zoe, this really isn't... wait, who is Google?"

Wait a minute, hold up. Taker doesn't know about Google? Well I guess it would make sense, he's been in this mansion for a **really** long time. I can feel a slow smile creeping across my face. It's a particular brand of grin, meaning that I was about to mess with somebody. But I was hoping Taker wouldn't know that. "The all seeing, and all knowing." I reply as seriously as I could manage. "It knows the answers to just about any question under the sun. You type your question into it using a computer or other bit of modern technology, and it'll search far and wide for the answer, which it usually finds in seconds."

As I hoped he would, Taker didn't seem to believe me. "You are making this up." He says with certainty. "There is no way something like that could exist. And even if it did, someone like you could not possibly have access to it."

"What's **that** supposed to mean?" I asked, only slightly offended. "You know what?" I whip out my phone and open the Google app. "Here's Google, right here. Since my phone's got limited juice with no way to charge it in the foreseeable future, I'll allow you three questions. No more, no less. Ask wisely..."

Taker is stumped; I guess he didn't think I was being serious. "Hmm... I suppose I should make my first question simple... What is a soul?"

"Here is the definition of 'soul.'" that familiar feminine TTS voice we all know and love supplied helpfully, making Taker jerk in the air slightly in surprise. I can't help but snort a little at this. It might have been mean of me to activate voice search without him knowing, but this was too good of an opportunity to pass up. "The spiritual or immaterial part of a human being or animal, regarded as immortal."

"That is correct," Taker relented once he had recovered. "But that was an easy question, anyone with half a braincell could tell you that. Now for a more difficult question... how large is the Earth?"

"The mass of Earth is five point nine seven two times ten to the twenty fourth kilograms. The surface area of Earth is 196.9 million square miles. In 2018, the population was 7.594 billion." Is it just me, or did Google sound a bit smug just then? ... Meh, probably just me projecting my emotions on inanimate objects again.

"That was... a bit more specific than I had anticipated."

"It's helpful like that," I explain. "Google wants to make sure you get the answer you seek, so it tries not to leave anything out. Nice, right? Anyway, that was your second question; use your last one wisely."

Taker pauses for a moment in thought, but notices something and seems to tense up. "Why are they surrounding us? ... Or perhaps just you?"

"What? What are you t-" But then, I feel hot breath on the back of my neck. I look up from my phone and realize that the deer I'd spotted earlier had seemingly multiplied and were standing in a circle all around us. "Oh boy... **oh boy."**

"They don't usually do this," Taker was mumbling. "Not unprovoked... it must have been Google; IT BETRAYED US!"

"What? No! Google would never... Okay, maybe not **never,** but, hey-oh!"

Much faster than I could anticipate, one of the deer lunged forward, snapping its nastily pointed teeth. I think it was trying to bite my hand or arm, but it missed both. It did hit something equally important though, at least in my opinion. **Crunch!** The creature reared back, coughing and spitting, but the damage had already been done. Bits of glass and metal rained down from the evil deer's jaws. "Noooooooooooooooooooo!" I cried, falling to my knees in anguish. "MY PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!" I scoop up the mangled remains of my iPhone from the fake grass, doing my best to leave no pieces behind, no matter how tiny. It's not really the loss of my phone that I was devastated over, not entirely. Don't get me wrong, that rose gold iPhone XR had been my pride and joy, and I couldn't have been more grateful that Mom had gotten me what had been, at the time, the latest model for Christmas. But that thing was expensive, and I wasn't sure if Apple supported being eaten by a carnivorous deer in their warranty. "Mom's gunna be soooooo maaaaaad," I whimper, defeated.

As I gazed at the destruction in my hands through blurry eyes, a small sadistic part of me wished I had grabbed the axe. Sure it was probably some sort of crazy trick to turn me into a psychopath, but now my poor innocent phone would go unavenged! Suddenly, everything seems to get darker. "Huh?" I look vp. There, looming over me, is none other than Specimen 8. "Oh! Um... h-hi..."

"Forget the pleasantries, just run!" Huh. Never heard Taker sound like that before. Was that **fear** in his voice? Ah well, his advice is sound. I shove the body of my beloved phone into my pocket, standing up on wobbly legs. They became a lot less wobbly however, when the deer man thing opens up his cloak, revealing hundreds of silently screaming faces. Yeah, definitely running now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another filler chapter; I'm so sorry! But the next one will be completely focused on the specimen, I promise!


	17. In Which I Give parenting Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As honestly as anyone can say anything on the internet, I really am the sixteen-year-old girl that I say I am, not a psychologist. So if some information in the following chapter isn't accurate, I apologize.

Okay, let me start by saying that I appreciate my body's built-in reflexes, I truly and honestly do. Had it not been for them, I would have been Taker's meal instead of his friend. Okay whoa, that really puts our relationship into perspective... but whatever I'm getting off track. The point is it's hard to convince someone to join you when they're **agressively** doing the same. oh, and being terrifying helps too.

"Join us..." The deer lord croons. I used to think you'd need some sort of audio effect to accomplish that sound, but we learn a lot in our short human lives, yeah? "Your submission is inevitable."

Jeez, what's wrong with me? I'd faced **several** monsters at this point, why the heck am I getting cold feet now?

"How do you **usually** think of a plan?" Ah, Taker must've noticed something was a bit off. He's either super observant or I'm just terrible at not wearing every single one of my thoughts on my face. Hate to admit it, but it's probably the latter. Can't really see Taker, the loner that he is, being good at interpreting feelings. Or understanding them at all.

I shrug. It's a little difficult since I'm running for my life at the same time but I manage it somehow. "I don't know, I just latch onto the first thing that comes to my attention and—"

"Your flesh will sustain my children."

"Ah! I got it!" I chance a peek over my shoulder. The deer guy is closer than I'd anticipated, robe opened to reveal all those screaming faces. I was determined to not b one of them. "Those deer," I begin, slightly nervously. "They're the children you're talking about, right?"

No response, but I wasn't giving up. I'd dealt with stubborn specimens before, bet you can't guess which one I'm talking about.

"They look great," I continue. "Really well cared for. Although ... I can't help but wonder how much you're really there for them, y'know?"

And he stops dead in his tracks. Yes, he took the bate!

"...Are you insinuating that I do not love my children?" Though his voice was still pretty much just as monotone as before, the amount of ferocity behind it gave me chills. I felt like I'd goofed up miserably and had been sent to the principal's office. But I wasn't backing down.

"No, of course not. If I thought you didn't love your children, I wouldn't give you the time of day. Anyone who doesn't love their kids isn't worth my attention. No, I'm concerned about something that's a bit more... complex."

"...Explain."

Whoa, am I dealing with a deer lord or a dalek? Never mind, forget I said that. I should know better than to make jokes about something I barely know crap about.

"It's more than obvious that you care about your kids, like, a lot. But when was the last time you romped around these... beautiful woods with them? When was the last time you sat them down and told them what to expect in later life? ... You have done those things once before, right?"

The deer lord seems taken aback by my boldness, and the faces in his robe seem to quiet down a bit, paying attention to the situation. I wish they'd go back to screaming, because this is actually a bit more creepy then what they were doing before.

"You put a lot of work into providing for your kids, and that's great. It really is. But at this rate, I feel like they probably love you only for what you can give them, and nothing else." "Are not all relationships based off what can be gained from them?"

"I guess you can say that," I allowed. "But as someone as wise as you definitely knows, a relationship ... it's based off a lot more than just material stuff. You've gotta have substance. And that substance is social interaction." It's getting a little hard not to laugh now, though whether it's out of amusement or nervousness I can't be sure. "As a child myself, I can definitely tell you that spending time with my mother is the best thing ever. Just she and I together, cuddled up on the couch, watching some dorky cartoon... But it's okay because we're dorks ourselves, livin' the dork life... just the two of us against the world..."

What? Now my eyes are starting to sting. Why are my emotions going all over the place all the sudden. Oh crap, am I-no my period ended about a week ago, I'm good. So why...

I sniff, doing my best to pull myself together. It's not that I'm shy about crying in front of people, not really, but I feel like it wouldn't help the current situation. Fortunately the deer lord doesn't seem to notice; he's too busy thinking about what I said. And if the perplexed looks on his robe faces are any indication, things are going my way. "I... have never done anything like that with my children..." He mutters softly. The statement doesn't seem to be directed at me, but I answer anyway.

"Well, do you want to?"

"Yes, ... but do they?"

"ONly one way to find out..."

"A sacred blood and soul ritual?"

"What? No! You ask them, of course!"

"How would I go about doing that?"

"Mmm... well going by the history of your relationship so far, I think a good place to start would be to make sure they are aware of how you truly feel about them. You love your children, right?"

"Yes! Of course I do!"

"Then go out there and tell 'em!"

"Yes! I will tell them." Aaaaand he's gone.

"Man," i grumble. "I was going to tell him about the CHU after he expressed his appreciation for my amazing advice. Shoulda known someone like him would be ungrateful..."

"Well, you did get away with your soul, that is an achievement in and of itself. Though it probably also helped that you did not harm any of the deer... wait, CHU?"

I flash a smirk. "Cliche heroic uprising, obviously. Bet you can't guess what **that** was inspired by, hmm?""No, I have absolutely no idea how you came up with that." Taker drawled. "Anyway though I doubt the Deer Lord will be back anytime soon, I suggest we leave."

i nod. "Yeah, you're right. But wait a sec, maybe there's still hope to spread the word." I pull out a piece of paper, and a forest green crayon. I thought that Deer Lord would like that shade.

* * *

_It's really nothing personal, man. I know it's rude to just run off like this, but I'm on a mission. Curious? See Ringu (Specimen 4) for details. Tell her Zoe sent you. {Crudely drawn smiley face with antlers.}_

* * *

"That will do," Taker approved as I found a nearby cardboard cutout to put my note on, after I hugged it, of course. "Although there is something I wish to discuss with you."

Wow, really? **Taker** is the one starting the conversation this time? Awesome! "sure, what's up?"

"...Is what you said to the Deer Lord true?"

Well, that wasn't what I expected. "About the way kids' love works? Yeah, sure it is. i mean I learned it from a Youtube video, and there's no way the guy who made it could be lying."

"No, I mean about... you being a child." "Oh... well yeah. Well I guess I could more accurately be called a teenager since I'm sixteen, but the age of adulthood here is eighteen, so yeah, still a kid. What, does this change anything?"

"Not particularly... though it does explain some things."

"I'll have you know that I'm quite a bit more childish then people of my age usually are, but I think that's mostly because they want to get into the in crowds, wile I'm over here wanting to live my life as I see fit. But anyway, I feel like my age or something similar would've come up by now. Are you **sure** I didn't mention it before?"

"Yes, I am almost positive you have not."

I shrug, but inside I can't help but wonder if this is another situation like my name. I hoped this wouldn't keep happening.


	18. In Which The Games Have Just Begun

Things were a bit quieter after we left the Deer Lord's area, something that we were both grateful for. We did encounter Goopboy once, though he seemed to have recovered from his previous tantrum and was standing around as casually as someone made of slime could stand. I hopped over the puddle his presence seems to create, then proceeded to give him a thumbs up. To my pleasant surprise, he returned the gesture. I guess Ringu had managed to recruit him. Awesome! She herself seems pretty cool too, though I wish she'd stop licking her lips whenever we make eye contact...

As Taker and I kept going, I started hearing a strange noise. Well, the noise in and of itself wasn't strange, it was just incredibly out of place in a killer ghost mansion, at least in my opinion. I turn my head so my ear is facing it in hopes of hearing it better.

"Is that... 8-bit music? I don't recall there being an 8-bit specimen; did Spooky get another specimen and neglect to update the database? Ugh, that would be **so** like her to do."

"It would," Taker agrees. "But that's not the case, at least not this time."

"Mmm?" That was interesting, but knowing Taker like I did now, I knew I wouldn't get anything else out of him. So there was nothing else to do but head into the next room, and see where that music was coming from for myself. So I do just that.

"Oh, an arcade! ... Well it's kinda small, but still." And it was. There were four games in total: Mall Of The Spook, Mrs. Spook, Spooky Cart, and a fourth machine that seemed to be out of order. "Save that one for last," Taker remarks. His advice hadn't failed me so far, so I take it and head towards Mall Of The Spook. From the title alone, I expected some sort of girly dress-up game. That is **not** what I got.

"Oh! You are **kidding** me!" I moan in disgust as I watch an innocent pixel guy's head explode, made worse by the weirdly realistic sounding 8-bit screaming. "Why does this exist? Just... why?"

Mrs. Spook wasn't much better. "Okay, we're playing as Spooky again," I comment as if I'm making a YouTube Let's Play. It's something I kind of want to do in the future, so I might as well practice. "I'm guessing we gotta murder Pac-Man? ... ... Yes. Yes we do. Ugh. Just when I thought I couldn't dislike you more Spooky, you go and prove me wrong." I cringe at the return of the 8-bit screaming, this time more prominent than before. In hopes of lightening the mood I stand up straighter and do my best impression of a commercial announcer. "Spooky Ghost. Opening people's minds since... uh, how long has she been doing this? I guess not as long as any of us thought since she knows about retro gaming... unless she has a source of info on the outside world. Her lab workers, maybe? Eh, well, I'll have plenty of time to think on that later."

Spooky Cart was up next, an obvious ripoff of... well you can probably guess from the title alone. This game was actually kind of fun with a nice soundtrack and... dare I say it? Sorta satisfying gameplay. I say sorta because I couldn't bring myself to fully enjoy it when I knew the kind of person who'd made it, or had it made.

Spooky was a complete psycho. I knew this for sure now. See, I had held on to a tiny shred of hope that maybe the girl was only misguided, or lonely, or whatever. Basically that she had a good reason to do what she was doing. Or a passable one, at any rate. But now, thanks to these games, I knew that that wasn't the case. Not at all.

I don't care what you say. Creating games (or having games created) about yourself doing violent stuff is **not normal.** Especially for someone of Spooky's age. You have to have at least a tiny semblance of a thought in the back of your mind of actually doing those things in real life to do that. And I... was beginning to believe that Spooky did more and more by the second.

I know it really shouldn't come as that big of a surprise to me as it does. I mean, Spooky is running, as Taker called it, a soul harvesting organization [or SHO for short.] Heh, ever notice how things can sound a lot more innocent when they're abbreviated? Although some things sound scarier, though I don't know why that is. The combination of letters, maybe? Whatever, I'm getting off topic yet again. I should really get tested for ADHD...

The point is, is it really that big of a jump to think that Spooky is willing to do the deed herself? Come to think of it, why **isn't** Spooky doing the deed? Why does she need a bunch of specimens to do it for her? Is she really that lazy? Or, could it be ghostly limitations? Ugh! What's with this place and always giving me more questions than answers? It is **so** frustrating!

I take a deep breath to calm myself, approaching the fourth and final arcade machine. On closer inspection it's not actually out of order, just locked. It wants a password, and I'm guess the number pad attached to the machine is what I'm going to use to do that. In order to access... what?

"These controls are all fake!" And they were. The joysticks were stiff, the levers were solid, and the buttons (besides the numbers) were unpressable. "What the heck was Spooky trying to do when she had this thing made? Wait... don't tell me it's one of those things where there is no correct code and it'll blow up on my first attempt, killing me instantly. Or worse... it burns my clothes away, and I have to go the rest of the way naked! Oh, no! I don't wanna be a streaking resistance leader! Oh god, please no!" I hug myself tightly in hopes of protecting my clothing from future explosions.

"Zoe, you are not going to be a streaking resistance leader." Taker's using that tone people sometimes use on young children who they think are being dense, but I can tell he's only doing it to keep himself from laughing at my only slightly dramatised antics. I don't have such self-control however, so when I hear him mutter "I cannot believe this is something I need to assure you of." I completely lose it.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahaha!" I laugh hysterically, leaning against the nearest sturdy object, which happened to be the weird arcade machine. It let out a low beep of protest, and a message appeared on its screen, reading: _Syntax Error: Invalid input._ This only made the problem worse.

"It's not **that** amusing," Taker deadpanned.

"M-maybe not to you!" I manage to sneak out between bursts of laughter and gasps for air. I'm weird like that. Even though I consider myself to be a relatively good-humored person, I hardly ever laugh like this. Unless of course my brain decides to latch onto something funny but a bit random, in which case... this happens.

The machine beeps again. Even though I wish this nice moment between friends could continue for longer, I know that it is right. Time to go back to the task at hand. After calming myself to where I'm only giggling every once and a while and am able to stand up without support, I address the secretive game. Or whatever the heck it's meant to be.

"It looks like... we need a four digit passcode. Any ideas of what that might be?"

"Twelve thirty five."

I freeze for a second, my brain having a little 'does not compute' moment. "Uh? ... How can you be sure?"

"It was written on the back of the note inside the present we received earlier. I read it while you were having your... **moment** with Specimen 1."

I can feel myself starting to smile. "Ah, so you **did** take my advice on reading notes then! Thanks!"

"Well I had to do **something,** you were taking **forever!"**

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I know you're grateful for my gratitude."

"That makes no sense."

"It rarely does. But anyway, to enter that code... Twelve thirty five, you said?"

"Correct."

"Alrighty... one, two, three, five..."

I was right to assume what I'd unlock wasn't a game. It was more like an animation or video of sorts. It showed a bunch of kids going trick or treating. One of them, a girl with blue hair, looked awfully familiar. She was dressed up as what I'd guess to be The Grim Reaper? Maybe? Point is she was determined to scare someone, but it never quite worked. Until it did, a little **too** well.

"Huh." I muttered once the video had ended. I needed a moment to digest this. Once I had, and fully realized what I had seen... ... ...

"This doesn't change anything." I pronounce confidently.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. If this is what I think it is, and even if it's not it still doesn't. We've already established that you need to die a tragic death to become a ghost, but here's the thing. If you commit a crime that you have full lucid knowledge of, trauma does not excuse you. Spooky **knows** what she's doing. If she were sent to court right now, and she was like: 'yeah I orchestrated a bunch of people's deaths but I died a horrible one myself so it's cool,' they wouldn't let her go free. She'd probably be put in the psyche ward. And from what I've seen so far, it's looking like she really needs to be."

I slap the side of the machine, which beeps indignantly as I pace just as indignantly before it. "I can't stand people who throw elaborate pity parties for themselves like this. It makes people who actually need help and sympathy less likely to get it."

I stop pacing and take a deep breath. I'll never be able to go on when I'm angry like this. Still, I can't believe I'd needed to find a password just for **that.** Probably Spooky trying to make it look as though I wasn't meant to see it. Bullcrap! If she put the effort into making this thing, she wanted me to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason the video itself was so undescribed was because I could barely find any info on it, and couldn't watch the video myself because of my vision. Well I could, but I wouldn't get much out of it.


	19. In Which Karma’s A Jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what, guys? Tomorrow's my birthday! I'll be seventeen, but I'm not hoping for much; just some KFC, cheesecake, and a couple of presents is enough for me. Speaking of presents, here is one for all of you!
> 
> When I first started writing this fic, I never dreamed it would get as much positive feedback as it Well, any positive feedback if I'm being perfectly honest. I mean, come on! A typo-filled story for an obscure fandom starring my dorky tomboy+friendship/redemption = magic self? Who'd wanna read that!? Well, apparently you guys would. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging; that'd be pretty hypocritical of me since I'm the one writing the darn thing ...
> 
> Just a little warning: this chapter gets a bit gross so I wouldn't recommend you eat while you read it.

"Are you finished yet?" Taker moans as I restart Mall Of The Spook. I know I said I didn't like it before, but now it's really starting to grow on me. The problem was that I didn't see its potential before, and now that I do, I've found my own unique playing style. And now I can't get enough! Although I doubt Spooky would approve...

See, my "playing style" consists of turning on the game... and that's about it. But it's **completely** worth it, because it means I get to watch Spooky's HP steadily drain to zero. Over, and over, and over again. After all she'd done to me and so many others, it was **extremely** satisfying. And I believe the NPCS think so, too.

"Please, Taker! I **need** this! Lemme enjoy it for just a few moments more!" Spooky's health bottomed out again, and I sighed in contentment. "Oh, yeah. This is better than therapy." I eagerly reach for the start button once more. "Again!"

"Oh, come on." Taker grumbles. "It can't possibly be **that** enjoyable."

My finger stops just before hitting the button, a need to stick up for my interest bubbling up within me. "Well come on over here, then. Experience it for yourself."

Taker hesitates but eventually complies, probably thinking he'll look bad if he doesn't, which he's not entirely wrong about. Together, we watch in twisted satisfaction as Spooky's life (death?) slowly drains away until the game over screen shows up again.

"Whoa. I can't believe I am saying this but... you're right. That **is** satisfying to watch."

"Ha! Told you so." I do a mental happy dance; victory is mine!

"However, we really should continue on if we want any chance of doing something similar to that for real."

I sigh. Even though I don't want to leave just yet, I know that Taker is right. "Yeah, okay. Let's go."

The next specimen area appears to be yet another lab, although it looks a bit more futuristic. Even the notes the are holograms, which is cool and all, but it doesn't distract me from what they say. Or the plotholes.

"Spooky has the means to make all this, and yet she can't add something as simple as a phone charger?"

"It wouldn't matter anyway," Taker reminds me like it's no big deal. "not anymore."

I clench my fists. "Why you insensitive little—"

"Hey, don't go taking your grief out on me. Whatever stage two rage you have at the moment, save it for the Deer Lord. Or Spooky. You'll need that sort of fire then."

I gape. "Are you seriously advising me to bottle up my feelings?"

Taker freezes. Good, he's smart enough to know he's playing a dangerous game at the moment. "...Yes?"

I gape some more, before I close my mouth, then open it again. "Taker you... y-you seriously can't think... I mean I didn't expect you to be a master psychologist by any means but... no wonder you... I guess it sort of... Taker... I guess what I'm trying to say is... that's how cereal killers are made, Taker. It's probably what lead Spooky down her dark path, it's probably why I went into this mansion, and... it's probably why you started taking souls."

"No, I did that to express my anger. And in hopes of returning my body."

"Only because you waited too long to express it before."

"For all I know I could have taken souls way before that period anyways."

"You also might not have, for all anyone knows."

"...This conversation is completely pointless."

"No Taker, it's not."

"Oh, really? What is the point of it, then?"

"Why bonding, of course. Right now, we're sorta the only thing we've got. Well I mean I have my crayons and a couple of juice boxes and snacks but that's about it. You've been a tremendous help to me; you've probably saved my life quite a few times now. And calling you—well **almost** calling you an insensitive jerk isn't a great way to repay you for that. And... I'm sorry, Taker. You come from an extremely different background than me, so it was wrong of me to assume that what was a big deal for me is also a big deal for you. But to give you some perspective, that phone..en was really important to me. It was a Christmas present from my mom. She always tries to give me the best of everything; she just loves me so much y'know. I know that sounds shallow, but it's not just the material stuff she tends to go above and beyond on. I believe without a doubt that she would willingly let herself be killed by every specimen in this mansion if it meant me getting out of here alive. Not that I'd want her to do that of course but..."

I shake my head rapidly. Dang it, I thought I'd gotten that long-winded tangent thing under control! "Dang, off track again! The point is, I messed up, I'm sorry, and now that I think about it you're probably also right about this conversation being pointless. I man almost a thousand words and we haven't really gotten anywhere."

"What? You may be long-winded at times but I doubt that spiel was over a thousand words."

"I wasn't talking about... oh, nevermind. Forget about it. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place."

"Okay, well... you are correct about us coming from different backgrounds. However that is not a reason for me to undermine your loss."

"Eh, it's okay. Well, it's not okay, but I forgive you. And it's not all bad."

"Oh?"

"Nope. Now that we've had our first fight and make up, it means that we are officially good friends! Yay!"

"...Yes."

Suddenly, there is a loud rattling noise from somewhere nearby. Oh, of course the next specimen arrives just in time to ruin our moment! It comes slithering out from the vent, a long worm-like thing. But wait, it stops. It looks like there's something wrong with it. Is it o—

With a terrible noise the thing's head bursts in a gooey mess, the shower of gore missing me by inches. Yet another creature emerges from the mess, a humanoid shape which begins slowly towards me. But believe it or not, that's actually the **least** of my problems.

As soon as my brain realizes what messages my eyes had sent to it, and the terrible sent of alien blood fills my nostrils, my body begins reacting in terrible ways. My heartbeat quickens, my mouth waters, and it feels like someone's lit a fire inside my body as the world grows distant and fuzzy. Time seems to still as I begin to sway slightly, and the pressure in my abdomen begins to build until it feels like I'm a rubber duck being brutally squeezed by a sadistic toddler.

And then, time snaps jarringly back to normal pace as a geyser of thick brownish reddish sludge erupts from deep within me. I hate peanut butter barf. There is nothing more disgusting than peanut butter barf. The color, the consistency, the way it sticks everywhere, just... yuck. Specimen 10 doesn't seem to like it, either. But I mean, I guess I wouldn't like it either if someone threw up in my mouth. But it's hardly my fault. I mean isn't it common sense to not approach someone with your mouth wide open after they've witnessed something disgusting? Come on!

I'm still feeling extremely sick, so I doubt I'm done. Sure enough, I feel the second wave out puke coming upon me fast. 10 also seems to know what's about to happen, because this time he makes an effort to get out of the line of fire. I make an effort to aim somewhere other than him as well, in hopes of conveying a silent apology (I can never speak while I'm vomiting.)

My second wave wracks me, followed by my third fourth and fifth, until I'm mostly just dry heaving, and also crying a little bit from the stress of it all.

Once I can concentrate on something other than my body's spasms, I notice that not all the puddles on the ground are alien blood or my barf. Wait... did Specimen 10 throw up as well? Not that I blame him of course, like I said before peanut butter barf is terrible. I chance a glance at him. Yup, if I had to guess at what a sick alien looked like, that would be it. We exchanged glances for a moment, and we both somehow convey that we're both to sick to do the chase/be chased thing right now. So we both go our separate sickly ways.

"I could have lived a thousand eternities without witnessing that." I jump, I'd forgotten Taker was even there.

"Y-yeah, uh sorry about that. ... We're still friends, right?"

"If I abandoned you because of your bodily functions, I would have left when you farted in your sleep."

"What? I didn't fart in my sleep!"

"Oh yes you did. It was terrible, worse than a zombie horde."

"Wait, you can smell? And zombies exist?"

"Oh good, you are feeling better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...What the heck did I just write? Oh boy, I dread what the comment section will look like on this one. I debated publishing this at all; I mean I don't even know where this monstrosity even came from. I mean it went from wholesome and cute to... what the actual what? But there's no way I'm writing a whole new chapter now, so I guess I'll just have to face the music... Oh boy, please don't make me lose all my followers, weird ass brain!


	20. In Which I Assist My Fellow Woman

I jolt into awareness, the tiniest of gasps escaping me. What was that? A specimen? Another random sound that seems to be coming from somewhere in this place yet we never see the source? There it is again! Oh... wait, I know that sound! I'd know it anywhere! That's the gurgling call of a very impatient stomach! **My** very impatient stomach, to be exact.

"Ugh... jeez!"

"What is it?" Taker questions. I can tell that he definitely is at least somewhat concerned, but there's also a note of impatience in his voice that can't be overlooked.

"Hungry!" I groan, kneading my belly in a vain attempt to make it stop trying to eat itself alive. If you couldn't tell already, I am **not** taking the loss of yesterday's meal well. **Not at all.**

"Why don't you eat another of the sandwiches you brought?" I must have gone a bit green at the mention of those ghastly things, for Taker huffs in annoyance. "You cannot afford to be picky right now, Zoe."

"Tell that to my stomach." I huff back with equal vigor. Weird, this bout of hunger seems to be tampering with my vocabulary; I shall have to look into this more later.

Fortunately for me and my picky stomach, the next room offered quite a bit of solace. "A restaurant!" I squeal in joy. "My savior!"

"I wouldn't count on that."

"Uh? Why not?" A poster on the wall catches my eye. According to it, the food served here is one hundred percent beef. Nice! I could really go for a burger right now...

"Things are rarely what they seem at first glance around here, or have you seriously not learned that yet?"

"I blame it one hundred percent on my appetite; it clouds my judgement. The sooner we find some grub, the better."

I only got some frustrated muttering in return, but I didn't care. I was busy exploring this interesting new place, looking for something to sate my hunger. There were notes written by an employee of this establishment, well probably not **this** establishment per se, but the one this area of the mansion was modeled after no doubt. Creepy story about burgers and monsters, you know, the standard fare. Now where the heck is the food in this place?

"Oh, sweet!" I squeal, once again temporarily distracted from the hunt. "A play area! Wonder if **I** could fit inside?"

"You're going to have to; it's the only way forward."

"Sweet!" I chirp again. "Mom would never let me play in one of these back when I was the target demographic for them, something about it being unsanitary and hearing horror stories about it? Well, no wonder it's here then, huh?"

"Horror stories?"

"Oh, y'know, the standard fare of kids puking and having explosive diarrhea inside it and stuff."

"What?!"

"What do you mean, what? Have you never met a kid before or something, Taker? Because this should not be surprising to you."

"...Just find the key to the play area already please."

"Okaaaaaay. But only cause you said 'please.'"

A brief search lead me into the bathroom, where an interesting sight greeted me. One of the stalls seemed to be occupied. A puddle of blood spread near it, and a weird sound came from inside it. A wave of sympathy rolled over me, and I walked over to it. The blood was still warm beneath my feet, but I ignored that for the time being and gently knocked on the door. "Hey. Ya doing okay in there, girl? That's some time of the month you're having, isn't it?"

No response.

"Well, this is just a fellow person with a pair it x chromosomes letting you know that you're not alone. You'll get through this, I promise. Just stay strong and don't be ashamed to curl up in the fetal position and beg for death once and a while. I strongly recommend that you visit your gynecologist when you next get a chance to though, just in case. Because that's... that's quite a heavy floe." I reach into my backpack and pull out a tampon. "Sorry. This probably won't be big enough, but it's all I have." I toss it up and over the stall door in a majestic arc. Minutes later, the sounds from inside the stall stop. "You're welcome!" I singsong, skipping over to the sinks. My feet squelch and leave red footprints all the way there, but my athleticism along with some cold water and paper towels soon solve that problem.

"Are you quite done?" If Taker wasn't red already, I was positive he'd be with embarrassment right about now. Seriously, what is it with boys and periods? It's a perfectly natural thing like eating or peeing; it's nothing to be ashamed of.

"Yup! Oh, it feels good to have helped a girl in need..."

"Well, while you were doing that I have located the key. It is in this stall."

I follow Taker and sure enough, there's the key! "Woo! Thanks, Taker!"

"No problem, now let's go."

"Alrighty!"

The key fits perfectly in the play area's lock, and after quickly looking over the rules we're on our way through the colorful tunnels. "It's a good thing I didn't wear any shoes to start with." I remark. "I don't have to go through the trouble of taking them off."

"That's not what you said back in Specimen 2's rooms."

"Funny how different situations can change one's perspective like that, eh?"

"I suppose so."

I can't help but giggle as I continue to crawl along, completely enjoying myself. In fact, I felt a song bubbling up in my chest. You can sing along too if you'd like, it's to the tune of Singing In The Rain. "I'm craaaaaaawling through the tunnels, just craaaaaaawling this the tunnels! What an awwwwwesome feeling, just craaaaaaawling—oh, wait. Nevermind, it's not a nice feeling. Ow! My knees!" I take a deep breath and adjust my crawling to a slightly more barrable position. "Y'know, Taker. When I came in here, I expected to see some stuff in here."

"Like decaying corpses?"

"Nope, more like dried up feces but I guess a corpse wouldn't be that far fetched given our current location."

"Oh, that again."

"Yup, that again. I've got many horror stories about these play areas. I'd tell you some of them, but it looks like we're almost out."

And we were. Well, all the way out actually. I pull myself from the mouth of the tunnel, stretching and groaning. "That was a lot less fun than I anticipated."

"Only a bit less fun for me, but that is probably because I did not anticipate it to be very fun."

I shrug. "Eh, that's fair."

We'd ended up in a freezer. I shiver, wrapping my arms around myself both to keep warm and in disappointment. "Maaaaan," I wine. "There's no way I could eat any of this stuff. It's all frozen." Bummed out, I pad moodily towards the exit. But I'd forgotten about the specimen. With quite a loud noise, I hear it appearing not too far from behind me, and I turn to face my foe.


	21. In Which I... Wait What Did I Do Again?

I wasn't sure how exactly it had happened. One minute I had been ready for a challenge of a specimen, and the next I was here. Plopped down at a cheaply made fast food table and chowing down on a delicious burger and french fries. I could definitely understand why people got addicted to this, although given how starving and sick of PBJ&D I was, anything other than those sandwiches would have been delicious to me.

"Soooooooo," the demon drawls, staring creepily as I eat. The constant floe of blood from his eyes was a little off-putting, but my stomach allowed me to ignore it. I wish it could have done that with Specimen 10... "You're starting a rebellion."

"Yup, that's right." I swallow a large bite before going back for more. "Dang! This is super stuff you got here, Ron. You even got the toppings right. Did you really get all that info while you were in my head earlier?"

"That and more kid, that and more. As for the beef, it's very fresh."

"Oh, so you like, leave the mansion to kill cows?"

"Oh, yes! Cows, they're despicable creatures! Everything that goes wrong in the world is because of cows! Global warming, the ice age—"

"So I take it your mother was a cow, then?"

"Taker!" I try to sound firm, but that insult really was quite good. Well not really, it's pretty unoriginal but the timing was great.

"Oh yes. In fact, that's the cow your human friend is eating right now."

"Agh?" I grab a fry off my plate, hoping that was only a joke. Popping it in my mouth, I notice something strange. "Hey! These fries have beef in them."

"Yup, beef fries. My invention."

"They're... interesting." Man, what's with this guy and beef anyway?

"We're getting off the subject." Taker huffs impatiently. "Are you going to join us or not?"

"Meh, I suppose. Honestly I really don't give a shit about what Spooky's doing, but it has gotten a bit boring around here as of late. I believe that a rebellion would shake things up just nicely."

Neither me nor Taker were very pleased with Ron's non-committal response, but it was better than nothing... right?

"Good. Then I suppose I shall look forward to fighting alongside you, then."

"Fighting..." I really hoped it would never have to come to that. I hoped that Spooky would see how many were against her and surrender immediately, but part of me knew that just might be asking for a miracle. There was more to the blue-haired ghost girl than the awkward persona she presented after all, and it was kinda scary to think about what that more could be.

I finished my food no longer than two minutes later, and stretched with a satisfied grin. "Ah, that was the **bomb!"** I'm suddenly overcome with a huge yawn. "Whoa, kinda makes me wanna take a nap. You **sure** that's not something' in the burger talking, Ron?"

"No way. Far be it from **me** to leach from the soul of a warrior such as yourself."

"Is he hitting on me?" I whisper to Taker in hopes that he is an alo, or at least understands their thoughts more than a hopeless aro/ace like me. All I get in return is an incredulous look, though. Dang! Well it was worth a try...

"Anyway, there's no reason why you shouldn't take a nap. You need to be well rested for the last two specimens and the inevitable battle to come, after all."

"The last two specimens! Wow, I really am close aren't I?" It's not that I didn't realize my progress; I did, but hearing it said aloud gave it a whole new type of weight that it hadn't quite had before.

"Yes, so get some rest. You don't want to fail because of something so trivial as tiredness when you've gotten this far."

"The demon is correct." Ron's gaze shifts towards Taker, or at least I think it does. It's hard to tell when he, y'know, doesn't have eyes.

"What's that you just said? I don't think I quite heard you."

"Yes you did." Taker replies, leaving no room for arguments. Though seeing as I was pretty sure Ron would try to start one anyway, I wobble to my feet and begin the hunt for a place to have a snooze. I find it in a large ball pit, and after playing around with the colorful plastic spheres for a bit, (I couldn't resist okay?) I curl up and close my eyes. And that's when I realized just how exhausted I truly was.

I guess it made sense, after all I hadn't slept since before my encounter with Specimen 6, so it was quite possible that yet another day had passed. Oh well, no time to think about that now. Time to get... some...

* * *

"What? Where am I?"

_Your fear allows me to enter your mind._

"What? No, I'm not scared, just a little confused that's all."

_Your obligation allows me to control your hands._

"Nah, that's just me being hyper-active."

_Your reason allows me to break your eyes._

"Ow! Hey! I... I can't see..."

_Your guilt allows me to loosen your neck._

"Ah! What've you done? Now I look like some weird giraffe. Man, it's too bad I can't see right now; I feel like I'd have a killer view of... where ever I'm at."

_Your expectation allows me to hide the truth._

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that already."

_Your tendencies have allowed me to make you_

"Forget it!" I jolt awake, startled at the loud outburst from Taker nearby. Gosh, that was oober weird. I just had the creepiest dream about... about... Wow, that's really strange. I can usually remember my dreams crystal clear when I wake up thanks to my years of keeping a journal and my explorations of the art of lucid dreaming. I guess this mansion is interfering with that somehow. That's a bit disappointing, but oh well. I've got more important matters to deal with at the moment, such as what's got Taker so upset. I spit out the slobbery red ball I'd apparently been sucking and chewing on in my sleep so I can listen with less distractions. It rolls down my right cheek before coming to rest in front of my nose, leaving a cold string of my bodily fluids in its wake. I rub my face on my sleeve, annoyed.

"I don't understand why I even spoke to you in the first place!" Taker was grumbling in the meantime.

"Well you did, and there's no turning back now." That was Ron's voice. "Could it be that Zoe is rubbing off on you?"

"Why are you so interested in her, anyway?"

"I'm not. But I am interested in her **and** you. Why would someone such as yourself associate with her?"

"None of your business."

"I'm only curious."

"You are nosy, **that** is what you are."

I sigh. I can already tell this last day in Spooky's mansion is going to be a long and hard one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys, I've just had the worst case of writer's block with this story as of late, so I took a break to work on other fics. But now I'm back, and there'll only be about three, maybe four or five more chapters after this one before this fic is completed? I can't believe it either.


	22. In Which I Disrespect My Elders

_Deer Fellow Adventurer,_

_I haven't written a note in a very long time; I'm super sorry about that. So yeah, not dead, no need to worry just yet. I might even get out of here in time to have dinner with my mom tonight! {crudely drawn smiley face.}_

_Anyways, I'm approaching Spec 12, AKA The Mansion Inside A Mansion. I didn't know Spooky was a fan of inception; you learn something new every day I guess. Question is: how did she manage to move something that size here? Did she recover some ancient egyptian pyramid building tech or something?_

_Jokes aside, the CATDOS entry said that it has the ability to make a host out of a person who enters and make them attack other people, so that means I could find one of two scenarios in there. Either it has a host already and I'll need to escape them, or it doesn't and it'll try to control me. I'm not sure which one I'm hoping for; they each seem to have their ups and downs._

_Zoe_

* * *

Exhaling, I slide my Antique Brass (the color seemed appropriate given the situation) back into the box before attaching the note I had just written to the cutout that had recently jumped at me. They had gotten quite a bit more ominous now that I was quite deep inside the mansion, appearing as bloody sculls and evil slime creatures rather than cutsie pumpkins and spiders. Nevertheless I still gave them hugs, because I'll be **damned** if I ever withhold affection for something that material as physical appearance. Should God still put it upon himself to allow me into heaven when I die should I commit such as atrocity, I'd kick him in the crotch and flinging myself into Hell with no regrets. If I ever act in such a stupid and judgmental manner, then I **deserve** to suffer for eternity.

"So." Taker removes me from my self-destructive thought process. "Do you have a plan for how you will face Specimen 12?"

I shrug. "Depends on whether it has a host or not. If it does I'll have to wing it; maybe I'll try to snap them from its control and convince them to join us. After all I don't think a mansion can really fight since it... y'know... can't move. But it might have some info that'll help, maybe."

"And if it doesn't?"

"I'll probably do something similar to what I did with Specimen 5. I've got a lot more freaky material than stained underpants, y'know."

"I don't doubt it, seeing as hardly anything in this place has phased you."

"Oh yeah, my mind is a very dangerous place. I have tons of material, **tons!"** I stop, caught a bit off-guard by what I now noticed stood before me. We'd really gotten here fast. "Oh, we're here. The door to The Mansion Inside A Mansion. ... Should I knock? I feel like I should knock."

"Just go in."

"You sure? I mean given this thing's ability to control minds I'd guess it has at least some level of sentience meaning this house is its body. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want anyone to enter **my** body without consent."

Having realized what exactly I had said a couple seconds too late, and let in one of those huge squeaky gasps as I feel my face turn as red as Taker's. "Oh... oh, deer god! I-I am so sorry that... that was **bad."**

Then I start laughing. Whether it was out of nervousness, embarrassment, amusement, or a combination of those I will never know. It was a weird cross between a supervillain and a schoolgirl who had just received a text from her crush. Truly quite the ominous sound.

I shove my fists to my mouth, which does a pretty good job of muffling the noise but it takes me a while to get my stomach to stop shaking. And even then, it takes me a few more seconds to dig up the courage to face Taker again. But I know I must, for if I don't I will never be able to again. That's just how these situations work. "So um, Taker... I don't know if you knew why I got so flustered there, but either way uh-"

"Just knock, or do whatever it is you must do if it means you will stop talking for a while."

I can't help but silently agree with Taker's sentiment, and I was also relieved beyond words that I wouldn't have to give him **The Talk.** Being asexual myself, that topic is weird at the best of times, gross and infuriating at the worst. And here... it just seemed wrong.

Anyway, I knock at the door, and no sooner after I'd knocked on the door three times did it swing open. Slowly. As though a wind that only it could feel moved it. "Weeeeeell, **that's** not creepy at all." I can't help but giggle at the loud creak it causes. That's so cliche that it's not even scary anymore. It's just... something that happens. Stepping inside, I can't help but cough.

"Woo! For a place that's constantly being walked through by people, it sure is dusty in here. Uh-oh. uh... uh... **AAAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOO!"**

"What was **that?"**

"I sneezed. Dust got in my nose and that's my body's way of getting it out." I take a babywipe from my backpack and blow my nose. It makes a hideous sound but it does help to get rid of the crap the sneeze didn't manage to evict.

 **"That** was your

**sneeze?!"**

"Yeah, why? What's wrong with it?"

"It... it is just so... loud."

"Well yeah, it has to be. Gotta assert my dominance after all."

"Over what?"

"Why the demons that are trying to steal my soul, of course. That's the secondary purpose of sneezes y'know, keeping the demons at bay. Stay back, demons! I gotta powerful nose and I ain't afraid to use it! AAAAH-CHOOO! Wow, I couldn't have planned that better if I tried!"

"That... that is **not** how demons work!" There was a tone to Taker's voice that I'd never quite heard before. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was trying not to laugh. Nah, there's no way I could've gotten to him that much already.

"Aww, really? Man, and I thought I was a powerful demon warrior. Wait! I **am** a powerful warrior! I've gotten past a bunch of supernatural entities completely unscathed, and I'm not about to stop anytime soon! Okay, identity crisis averted. We can continue onward n-"

But I was rudely interrupted by a terrible scraping noise. I look up and meet the cold dead eyes of an old man lumbering towards me dragging a huge-ass blade. "Yike!" I shriek, and bolt out of there.

I'm not sure why this guy freaked me out so much. Maybe it was because a murderous guy was something you could easily encounter, unlike everything else I'd faced so far. Though said murderous man was being controlled by an evil house, so I guess that lowers the odds just a little bit.

"There's no way this will work!" I whisper desperately to Taker as I crouch beneath a table. "He's gunna find me here for sure."

"He won't as long as you are still and silent. Although those are two things you are not very good at so you are probably correct."

"I meant since he's connected to the house, surely he must know where I am. And he, it, they... whatever is just toying with me."

"That's possible, or perhaps it is a twisting system. Spooky could have taken powers from this specimen like she did from me. Maybe that is why he cannot find you. Though I have the opposite problem. In this form it is difficult to find souls when they **are** moving."

"Okay this is really interesting and all but-"

"I heeear yooou."

"Aah! Possessed guy with big ass knife, gotta run!"

"It's called a sickle!"

"Unless you have a shield specifically for dodging sickles, I don't see how that info'll help me!"

"I do not, but I do know the location of the key you'll need to get out of here."

"Where is it?" The old man swings, and I barely get out of the way in time.

"It is hidden in the cellar. To access it, you must pull a book from the shelf which will open the passage."

"Are you serious? I mean, that's super cliche."

"What would I get out of lying?"

That was good enough for my frazzled brain, and quick as a flash I was booking it (sorry couldn't resist) to the nearest shelf.

"Wrong shelf!" But I was already grabbing books and flinging them at my elderly assailant seconds before those words left Taker's mouth. The host did his best to block them, but his big blade just wasn't big enough to block the storm of knowledge and literature coming his way. "Oof! Ow! Stop that this instant!"

But I had no intention of doing that, and my keen eyes had already located the next shelf. This was the correct one, as the first book I grabbed opened up the passage Taker was talking about. "Woo!" I scramble down into the basement, pretending the room full of bones didn't exist as I frantically rummaged around for the key to our freedom. I could hear the man groaning from upstairs, which meant my attack had dazed him. But that wouldn't last for long.

Sure enough, once I had found the key and headed back upstairs, the guy had recovered, and he was **mad.** Or the house was mad, I couldn't really tell nor was I really that interested to in all honesty. "Run! Run for the exit as if your life depended on it, because it **does!"**

I was more than eager to take Taker's advice, so I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I was so eager to escape that I didn't notice how close the guy really was to me, that is until I unlocked, flung open and than attempted to slam the door behind me. I say attempted, bc it didn't quite work out that way. Instead, it whacked into something with a loud thud. Curious I turn around, and realize with surprise that the something was in fact the old man's head. He was currently on the ground, clutching his head and groaning with unfocused looking eyes. "Ugh... what happened... where am I... who are you?" I notice with relief that the bang to the noggin must have shaken the house's control.

"Well, the long and short of it is, you got possessed by The Mansion Inside A Mansion and it made you go crazy and kill people for who knows how long. But then you hit your head and you're not anymore, which is very good. I am another person who came into this mansion, but I don't plan on getting possessed or dying, I'm on a mission. Say, what's your name, Mr?"

The poor guy seems even more confused by my word vomit, but he still tries to answer anyway. "Uh... Richard."

"Well Richard, how would you like to help me stop this place from hurting anyone else?"

"I... I would like to but... I don't know how I can."

"Don't worry, there should be a Japanese ghost girl coming around to explain in more detail. Though I'd recommend you keep your distance, she's got a bit of an appetite."

"What?!"

"Oh, and make sure you tidy the place up a bit. It's really dusty and there are books everywhere."

Richard glances at the mess left not too far behind him, and rubs his badly bruised temple. "It's foggy, but I'm pretty sure **you** made that mess."

"I'd clean it up, but I just don't have the time. Lives are on the line here; surely you can understand how important this is. So yeah, would love to stay and chat but I really must get going, bye!"

"Kids these days..." The guy mutters as I leave.

"Okay boomer!" I shout over my shoulder as I prance away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you'll have a very merry Christmas and Santa Claus gets you everything you asked for. And if you celebrate something different, I hope you enjoy that too. And of course I hope you enjoyed this chapter; I feel like it's one of the funnier ones so I'm really proud of the way it turned out.


	23. In Which Music Is A Friend To Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Before we get into this very last specimen encounter (I don't believe it either) I feel that there are some things that I must clear up.
> 
> I do not like songfics. I never have. But for some reason, this was the only idea I could think of for this chapter. I don't know how I'll ever make it as epic as the scene appears in my head; I'm going to try of course but this might be the weakest chapter yet. I don't own the song that will appear (whose lyrics will be in italics so you can skip past them if you so desire.) but _Music, You Are A Friend To Me_ is the property of Jay Althouse, and all rights are reserved to him.

I took a deep breath. Then another, then another. But it was no use. No amount of deep breaths could possibly make me prepared for what was to come. Not Specimen 13, I knew exactly how I would deal with her. It's what would come after.

I had no idea what Spooky would do once I showed up with an army of her once kinda loyal specimens in toe. What if she was more powerful than any of us thought, and she just massacred all of us right then and there? That would mean that this whole thing would be for nothing, and that I was doomed from the get go.

"No!" A raise my fists and punch the air. "Stop thinking like that, Zoe! You are a mighty warrior with powerful allies. You. Can. Do this!"

"What are you doing?" Taker deadpanned from somewhere behind me. He had grown accustomed to my weirdness by now, and was a lot less dumbfounded than he might have been a couple hundred rooms ago.

I shrug. "I'm trying to pump myself up."

"Is it working?"

"...Not really."

I take a look at myself from head to toe. My hair is messy and tangled, and there's ketchup smeared on my right cheek. There's a vomit stain from where I had wiped my face on my sleeve after throwing up that one time, and the hems of my overalls still had flecks of dried up slime from Specimen 2 on them. All and all, I didn't really look like the mighty warrior I had described myself as, but I suppose my current state painted a pretty good picture of the messy adventure I had gone through.

"Perhaps it would help if you focused on the here and now rather than dwelling on what could be in the future."

I nod. "Yeah, you're right. Speaking of, I do have a plan on what I'm gunna do with Specimen 13. It's a bit of a gamble, but it's either that or yet another boring old chase sequence. Since y'know, I don't think there's much of a point asking her to join us since she can't exactly leave the water."

"I am not going to like this plan, am I?"

I shrug. "Maybe not, but you might we'll just see how it goes."

Specimen 13's area was pretty much exactly what I had expected. Wet, dark, and very smelly. Like a fishtank that hadn't been cleaned since Dumbledore was president. So... never.

"If I remember correctly, there should be a lantern around here somewhere. As well as a password to the door behind which we will find the water pump to drain some of this water away."

I nod. "Alrighty, sounds simple enough. Wow, Spooky keeps wales? ... What does she feed them?"

"She doesn't. They feed **her."**

"But Spooky's a ghost, doesn't she like, not need food anymore since she's dead?"

"Not Spooky!" Taker groans, probably frustrated that I ruined his ominous quote. "The Specimen!"

"Oh! Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. Say, what do you suppose 13 prefers, wales or humans?"

"Probably humans."

"Yeah, I probably could've guessed. I just thought that maybe she'd prefer wales."

"Why would that be?"

"Well sharks eat surfers because they look like seals when they're on their boards, but they usually spit out whatever they bit off since they don't particularly like human flesh that much. So I thought that maybe 13 was like that."

"Two problems with that theory: first, Specimen 13 is not a shark, she is a siren. Secondly, humans look **nothing** like wales."

"I once so I guy who I thought looked kinda like a wale since he was so fat. Maybe the marine biologist who wrote these notes is fat like that, and also the other victims of the Siren."

"Do you honestly think that many obese people come in here?"

"Well yeah, I mean this is America after all. Not to mention Ron's restaurant is pretty close by."

"What does the country have to do with anything?"

"Uh, hold that thought, I think I found the password. ... And the lantern! Wow what luck to find them in such close proximity. Hold on... how do you light this thing again?"

"You didn't bring any matches, did you?"

"Nope."

"Damn it!"

"Well, you can see in this level of light just fine, right?" I squinted, hoping to gage the reaction of my friend in the gloom.

"I can."

I couldn't help but sigh in relief. "Phew, great. So just keep me from falling off any cliffs or into any spike pits that might be around here and we should be just fine."

"There are no spike pits."

"You can never tell with Spooky..."

"True."

A few moments of panting and grunting later, I managed to get the pump flowing again and the door that would undoubtedly lead us to Specimen 13 was clear and ready for use. With a deep breath, I tug it open.

And there she was. The light level in this area was thankfully a lot better than the last one, so I could see the siren just fine. Long white hair, slim body, scaly blue fish tail. I had always wanted to meet a mermaid, though I'd imagined the encounter to be a lot more magical and a lot less nerve-wracking. But nevertheless, I stepped forward and cleared my throat. "I've got a proposition for you."

The siren turned to face me as best she could from her position on the floating crate. Though her cold empty eyes and sharp fangs were quite the unnerving sight, but I still chose to focus on that rather than the fact that she wasn't wearing any top. Not even so much as a seashell bra!

"Well, well, well." The old mermaid crooned, her voice shrill and crackling. I seriously hope her singing voice is better than her talking voice, or I'm going to have **a lot** of questions for those marine biologists should I ever come across them. "I haven't come across someone as bold as you in quite a long time. I'll listen, but I make no promises."

I straighten my back, square my shoulders, and pronounce loud and proud. "I, Zoe Victoria, challenge you ... you, to a singing contest. If I win, I get to cross this area without being harmed. If you win, ... well I think it's pretty obvious what'll happen."

I didn't have to look at Taker to know he was incredulous and mildly horrified. But that was mostly since I couldn't look away from the siren, whose skin jiggled in the weirdest ways when she laughed. "Oh, deary! Surely you can't be serious."

"Oh, I am. I'm super serious. I know a song so beautiful, that it would put the most alluring siren to shame. And I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is right here, right now! So, what do you say? Do you accept my challenge?"

The siren smiled wickedly. "Oh, alright. I'm in a good mood today, so go ahead. Take the first turn. Sing your song, but don't expect much. Because I don't mean to brag, deary, but I haven't lost a single contest between merfolk, so I doubt I'll lose to a human."

I cheer inwardly. Yes, this is just what I was hoping for! Today, this gal's arrogance would be her undoing. And also this amazing song I learned in chorus class, but mostly her arrogance. As I took a deep breath to begin singing, I swear I could actually here the piano music for this piece drifting in from some unknown location. Meh, must be my overactive imagination again.

_Sometimes, when I am all alone,_

_with no one that I can call my own,_

_A sweet song slip into my mind,_

_When that song begins I leave my cares behind._

No sooner had I finished the first verse, the siren actually began to sway slightly. Was she really enjoying it so far, or was it just the common courtesy to act like you were enjoying your opponent's song even if you weren't? Oh well, no time to think about that now. Time for the chorus!

_And music, you are a friend to me._

_Your gift of melody,_

_Is mine to share._

_Sweet music, you are my destiny._

_Where ever I go I will know that my song is there._

For verse 2, I begin marching in place as I always do when I sing it.

_Sometimes, when clouds are dark and grey,_

_and blue skies are somewhere far away,_

_A sweet song brings the sun to mind,_

_When I hear my song my cares are far behind._

Which held true this very moment. Somehow as I was singing this song that I loved so much, I found myself not really giving a crap whether I won the competition or not. If I lost, I could still find my way out of this mess somehow like I had done so many times before. Even Taker seemed to be enjoying it, appearing to have lost himself in the music like I'd done so many times. Like I was right now.

_And music, you are a friend to me,_

_Your gift of melody,_

_is mine to share._

_Sweet music, you are my destiny._

_You feel me with happiness, make me feel strong!_

_Wrap me in melody all my life long!_

_Where ever I go I will know that my song is there._

_It's there!_

_My song is there!_

I ended my little musical number with a brilliant grin. It didn't last for too long though as I noticed something red about to hit the water. With lightening reflexes I grab it before it hits the surface and can't help but gawk a little bit.

There was no way other than bluntly to say this. My song had caused Taker to faint. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing. That could also be said about the loud sobs which were now echoing throughout the room. Dang! That siren looks even scarier when she ugly cries.

"I-I ruined! **Ruined!** I can never compete with that!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no way it was that good."

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you can actually be modest after that too! Just... just go!"

I was more than happy to do as she asked.

As it turns out, Taker got a lot heavier when he wasn't conscious. His added weight along with my backpack and all this stupid water made it very difficult to get through the final area of Spooky's mansion. But hey, at least I didn't need to worry about a specimen chasing me this time. Just following me creepily. I guess even though she was utterly humiliated by losing to a human, she was still quite curious about me. So I ended up explaining to her about the rebellion, to which ε responded with a good amount of interest.

"Hey, if you all end up losing to the ghost girl, can you try and convince her to bring you back here to me? That way I'll get something out of this either way."

"Sure, I'll uh... I'll be sure to keep that in mind."

"See that you do."

I didn't quite feel like going on to the final challenge just yet what with Taker out of commission, so I decided to rest for a bit in the elevator and wait for him to wake up. While I did, I decided to pass the time productively. I would write one last note before going on to the final part of my journey. I got out a bunch of crayons, write the message in rainbow colors.

* * *

_Dear Fellow Adventurer,_

_Well, this is it for me. I've just passed Specimen 13, and now I am going to face Spooky. I'm hoping that everything is going to go well, and that no one will have to read this._

_But if you are, and you entered this mansion just like me and have faced all the entities that I had to face, it means I failed. I died, or got turned into a specimen, or was otherwise incapacitated. I failed to end what I wanted to end, to stop who I wanted to stop._

_But this is not a message of tragedy and hopelessness, oh no. This is a message of encouragement. Don't believe me? Well, here's the deal. As long as you're still alive, as long as you still have blood flowing through your veins and air filling your lungs, then you have a chance. You have a chance to finish what I started. So if all of the above is true, Fellow Adventurer, please humor a (presumably) dead girl, and try. Okay?_

_Zoe_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you didn't mind the song. I promise you that there will not be another chapter like this in this fic.


	24. In Which Everything Really Goes To Crap

**Taker is gone.** I'm not quite sure of the specifics, but my best guess is that I must have dozed off for a bit while I was waiting for my clothes to dry off. And when I woke up, poof! No sign of him anywhere.

But it's okay, no big deal. He must have woken up while I was out and needed some time alone to think about stuff, or just didn't want to wake me up since we probably had a big battle ahead of us. So he went off somewhere for a little while. Maybe he got lost in one of the more maze-like areas, and I just needed to wait for him to find his way back. Looking for him probably wouldn't be the best idea since I remembered him saying something about people being harder for him to find when they're moving. So I'll just sit here, nice and still, and wait for him to return.

 _Everything is going to be okay._ I told myself as I leaned against the elevator wall and sat as still as I possibly could. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths as I thought this over, and over, and over again. _Taker's fine; he'll be back real soon, just you wait. There's no need to worry about him; even in this form he's the strongest specimen here. He can take care of himself._ But no matter how many times I repeated that mantra, I couldn't seem to shake the feeling that something was wrong.

* * *

"Hey." At the sound of that all too familiar voice, my brain brought my body jerkily back into awareness. Had I seriously fallen asleep **again?** How?

"Uh, what seems to be the holdup? I mean, you're sooooo close now. Why'd you stop?"

I refuse to move or acknowledge the ghost girl in any way. Spooky would **not** keep me from finding Taker.

"Could it be that you're waiting for something? ... Or someone? Like, uh ... your friend Specimen 9 maybe?"

I jolted upright. If looks could kill, and if Spooky wasn't a ghost... well she'd still be a ghost right now if you know what I mean. "What did you do!" I growled through my teeth. I was mad at Spooky, but I was also a little mad at myself. I couldn't believe that I had never considered this a possibility! Of **course** Spooky would want to get her hands on Taker! He's the one who had made things so hard for her after all! In fact, he'd pretty much been the only thing keeping her from achieving her goals until now.

Rather than being intimidated like I hoped she would be, Spooky just giggled. "Oh relax, he's fine. ... But, if you wanna see him again, you'll have to keep going."

I frown. There's something in Spooky's tone that had never been there before. Something... **dangerous.** I was really starting to regret taking a nap.

"So," I begin cautiously. "Lemme get this straight. If I keep going to the end of your freaky deathtrap of a mansion... you'll let Taker go?"

"Yup!" And we're back to cheery singsong.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

There's **no way** it could be this easy. There's no way Spooky would just give Taker up like that. There must be a catch. But I could see no other choice but to do what she wants, so I stand up and press the button on the elevator. Its creaking and groaning does nothing to ease my nerves.

I expected Spooky to disappear into the ceiling once I'd complied, but she doesn't. So I take this time to try and get a little jab at her. "Y'know, I shutter to think of what your parents might think if they could see you right now."

"My parents would be proud of me." She replies, completely unfazed.

I scoff. "Oh, yeah. Your mom and dad would just

 **love** having a cereal murderer for a daughter. Of course."

Spooky laughs. **Laughs!** "Oh, you!" Never thought I'd see the day I'd want to punch a little girl, but here we are. I refrain though, since I know it won't do any good. My fist would just phase through, and get me nowhere.

All too soon the elevator lurches to a stop, and the door slides open. Spooky exits first. "Right this way!" She chirps, motioning for me to follow her down a long hallway. I walk with my back straight and my head held high.

"I'll give you one thing, you are definitely one of the most interesting people that has ever came into my mansion. You dealt with the specimens in a way that I didn't even think was possible; you didn't even seem scared. ... You might have even gotten further with it, if you didn't-"

"Nope, nope, nopity nope nope." I cut Spooky off firmly. "I see exactly what you're trying to do, and it's not gunna work."

"Oh, really?"

"Mmm-hmm. And you are not gunna guilt-trip me. This is not my fault."

Spooky stops suddenly, and I nearly walk right through her. "Here we are," she says in a hushed tone. "The one thousandth room. Go ahead, open the door. See what's on the other side."

I glance around as I head towards the door. For the supposed final room in the mansion, I didn't expect something so plain. Then again I guess not many people make it to this point, so Spooky didn't see a point in making it something fancy. With a deep breath, I reach for the knob and pull open the door.

"Aaaagh!" I stumble back, shielding my eyes. "Bright, bright, bright bright bright!" The door had opened up on a lush green field with a bright blue sky and dazzling sun. I step cautiously into it, taking a breath of the fresh air. ... Wait. This felt familiar. Hey! This felt exactly like the outside area where the Deer Lord and his children lived!

"You can't fool me, Spooky. I know this isn't really the end." No sooner than I said that than my surrounds began to glitch and fade, until I was standing in yet another large and open room. "Ha, I knew it! And what about your promise! You said you would let me see-" Just then a tall shadow fell over me, and I look up, gasping at what I saw.

"...Taker!"

I glance over towards Spooky, who is grinning like a madwoman. "I'll leave you two to catch up." And with that, she's floated into the ceiling, and something hits the ground at my feet with a clunk. I look down at it.

It's the axe.


	25. In Which We Embrace Our Fates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To better explore what's about to happen, I'm going to mix it up this chapter and shift POVs a few times. This is the only time (at least in this story) that we will change from my SI's perspective, and I will make it as obvious as possible whose head we're in at a particular time. As always, feel free to let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Joy was an understatement to the feeling coursing through his body right now. **His body!** He had a body again! And his powers were almost fully restored! After all this time, The Taker was finally whole.

And just when he thought things couldn't get any better, he felt a presence steadily drawing nearer. A young, human female. Just the thing he needed to get back to full strength.

* * *

I can't help but gawk at the tall red clay figure looming before me. This couldn't be Taker, could it? But who else could it be? Yup, whether I believed it or not, this was Taker in his fully restored body. But wait, why would Spooky restore him if he was causing so much trouble for her? It didn't make sense. Maybe I should just ask.

"Uh, Taker? Any ideas of why—aaaargh!"

Suddenly holes formed in the floor, one of them directly below me. I jumped away from it just in time not to be hit by the huge pillar of screaming faces that erupted from it. My heart sank to the tips of my toes at the sight of them. Now I understood why she brought Taker back. Either she wanted him to kill me, or...

"N-No..." my eyes landed on the axe laying not too far away. "No... no!"

Taker then launched a second attack, creating large hands that appeared to be made of shadow. They slithered through the air towards me, trying to grab me. Smaller hands popped out from the larger ones and tried to slap me. He also seemed to have little minions (no not the Despicable Me kind) that ran at me like toddlers on a sugar high.

"I hate you, Spooky! I HAAAAATE YOOOOOOOOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I somehow managed not to be hit by anything my former friend threw at me. Though it was difficult since my vision was starting to get a little blurry.

* * *

This human was stranger than any who had come before her, that much became quite evident as Taker's attempts to **take** her began. She seemed to be extremely distraught. That wasn't strange in of it itself; it was perfectly normal for humans to be afraid when he attacked them. What wasn't was that her reason for feeling this way didn't seem to be the same as the others'. There was an axe nearby that she may use to deflect his attacks, but picking it up seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do. _I don't see any reason why she shouldn't, seeing as it didn't nearly fall on her foot this time_ he mused.

Wait, where did **that** thought come from? It was completely nonsensical and random. Unless... no! Whatever had happened before this, it was irrelevant. The only thing that mattered now was restoring himself to full power so that he may continue **to take the dead.**

* * *

I was shaking now. Not out of fear per se, it was more like a deep dread, and a feeling of having no escape. I didn't want to have to do this, I really didn't. Taker was by no means a super good person; heck, he killed **a lot** of people. But those people would have been Spooky's slaves for all eternity if not for him, and we probably would be too if she had over three hundred more soldiers at this moment. Plus, Taker was my friend. He was the first ally I had in this place, and he was always there for me even when he got a bit exasperated at my weirdness. He never lied to me about anything, never sugar coded things. Blunt, but sincere. And you know what? I think he ended up considering me his friend too, despite his aloof nature. Then of course there was the fact that I didn't want to be responsible for the death of someone else, even though it was out of self-defence.

But... if I let Taker kill me, or I couldn't get passed him... then I wouldn't be able to do what we had set out to do. I'd fail to stop Spooky, and this quest would have all been for nothing. So as much as I hated it, as much as it tore me apart... it had to be done. I had to take the Taker.

I'm not sure which was more astonishing. The fact that I actually had the resolve to carry this out, or that this decision was made in less than two seconds. When those seconds were done, Taker was back in business. He began blasting brightly glowing energy balls at me, at astonishing speeds. I weaved and dodged through them, dashing and rolling towards my target, the stupid axe. I lunged towards it, seizing it in both hands. It slipped and slid in my sweaty grip, but I still managed to get ahold of it in the end. I then twisted around, chopping and swinging at the blazing onslaught. Most of them zinged every which way like the world's craziest pinball machine, but a few of them made their mark. Though they didn't so much as leave a scratch, I realized with disappointment.

But wait, something was still happening! Taker wobbled and swayed for a moment, before falling to his knees. _He must not be at full strength yet!_ I realize. Without another thought I run forward, raise my axe, and...

And... And...

"I can't do it!" I shout, my voice cracking pathetically. In a burst of anger (At myself? At Taker? At Spooky? Who knows?) I throw the axe away with all my might. It flies an impressive distance before lodging itself deeply into the wall. Breathing hard, I address Taker again.

"I can't kill you, I just can't! You're my friend. My homie. My bro. There's no way I could ever do that after all we've gone through together. And I know deep down that you feel the same way. So stop being such a tsundere and let's face Spooky together! Now that you've got your body and all this power, I know we can do it!"

* * *

What? **What?** What is this girl doing? Why did she throw away her only hope of survival like that? And what was she going on about? Wait... Zoe. That was her name. How could he have forgotten? He must be careful not to allow her to find out, else she will probably be very upset with him.

Wait! Why in the worlds did he care what this tiny human thought about him? There was absolutely no reason too. She was nourishment and nothing more, and she would pay dearly for her foolishness!

With newfound resolve, Taker regained his footing and unleashed and even more powerful attack then before.

* * *

Welp, I guess we'll just have to do this the hard way. Whatever Spooky had done to Taker, it had him under its control completely. I would need to do something drastic to snap him out of it.

And I **could** do that! My disappointment in myself that I hadn't thought about that earlier was immeasurable. Like Taker I had let Spooky get to me, if only for the briefest of moments. I wouldn't make that mistake again. I would do what I had done with every other specimen so far, and achieve my goals with a crazy ass plan! After all this wasn't so different from those times, right?

But what could I possibly do to break him out of it? I thought long and hard as I dodged Taker's second pillar attack. He seemed to use the same order of attacks every time: pillars, hands/takelings, energy balls. So once I figured out the basic maneuvers I could pretty much cruise through them. We'd need to have a serious discussion about strategy once this was over. But for now...

Wait! I've got it! I'll use my special move! If this is a time for it, this certainly is. I'd been practicing for it all this time just in case, so I think I'm ready. Plus it would also mean that I was fulfilling my promise. Win win!

As soon as Taker paused to recover from firing his energy blasts, I made my move. With an epic war cry, I ran forward as fast as I could. Taker wasn't expecting this at all, and froze in place. When I was merely a foot or so away, I spread my arms wide and leapt forward. The impact knocked the wind out of me, but I didn't care. As my lungs slowly (and painfully) reinflated, I wrapped my arms firmly around the bewildered specimen and squeezed with all of my remaining strength. In the middle of all this, my weight was just enough to throw Taker's balance off completely and we both tumbled to the floor with a crash.

* * *

When the human first charged towards him, all The Taker could feel was shock at first. But there was also an underlying eagerness. Sure this must be the most idiotic human to exist, but it meant he got a free meal so he couldn't complain.

But the human didn't attack, at least not in the way he expected. Instead she launched herself at him, crashing into him before clinging to his body with all her might. The unexpected weight caused them both to fall to the ground. But not even that dissuaded her, and she continued to hold on.

She gasped loudly, breathing heavily. She must have gotten the wind knocked out of her. "Come on... Taker." She wheezed. "You... don't have to do what she wants. Snap out of it, Taker. Snap out of it."

There was something about this whole scenario that sent a prickle through his raging storm of a mind. A definite familiarity. And suddenly, as he felt the girl's weak (compared to his own strength) but unwavering grip, he was suddenly overcome with a rush of memories.

_"Aw what the heck, I think I'll give ya benefit of the doubt."_

_"As you can see, I've made it all the way here without a single scratch. And, I made a friend!"_

_"Taker. Now that's a cool name, much better than Specimen 9."_

_"There's gotta be another way to restore your body. I'll sculpt you one myself if it comes down to it. Don't know where I'll get the clay or a big enough kiln, and my sculpting skills could do with some improvement, aaand I don't know how I'll attach it, but I'll certainly try."_

_"Yeah, I'm glad we're friends too."_

_"You've been a tremendous help to me; you've probably saved my life quite a few times now."_

_"We are officially good friends! Yay!"_

...

This wasn't just some random human who had come upon him by chance. This girl had assisted him all this time: making plans, gaining allies, getting closer and closer to doing what he had thought was impossible. Also she enjoyed writing and drawing with crayons, singing, and she had this strange habit of wrapping her arms around every cardboard cutout that appeared. ... The same thing she was doing to him this very moment. But most importantly, this was not a lamb to be slaughtered. This was **Zoe,** his **friend.**

There was still that persistent part of him that urged him to forget all of this. To put aside these silly feelings and achieve his ultimate destiny to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to take the dead to— _SHUT UP!_

As he lashed out at the unending mantra in his mind, he had subconsciously wrapped his arms protectively around Zoe, returning the hug. He couldn't believe that he had so much as entertained the thought of taking her, not to mention **actively attempting it!** But despite his actions, she did not fear him. Instead, she gazed up at him with a hesitant hope. "...Zoe."

"Taker?" Her voice held the same sentiment as her expression. "Is that... really you?"

"...Yes. Yes, it is."

"Oh, thank god!" She sighed in relief, wiggling even closer if that were possible. It couldn't possibly be comfortable for her as his body couldn't exactly be described as cuddly, but she didn't seem to care. "For a moment there I thought you'd never come back from whatever Spooky did to you, but I'm glad to know that my special move worked and you were able to snap out of it."

Oh, so **that's** what she thinks happened. She believes it was Spooky who tainted his mind and made him want to kill her, and not his own malevolent nature. Or maybe she was making excuses, giving him the benefit of the doubt like when they first met. But when he looked deeply into those clear blue eyes of hers, all he could see was pure relief and happiness.

So she truly believed him to have been under a curse and not acting of his own free will. She truly and honestly believed him to be a good person who only took the dead to keep them from worse fates, and that like her, he wanted to stop Spooky for the good of the world. But that wasn't true. It was **never** true.

At his core, The Taker was a selfish being. He always had been. He took souls to sustain himself; he couldn't care less about Spooky and her plans. Until that fateful day when she killed him. But then it was about revenge. He wanted Spooky to pay for what she had done to him, and nothing more. ... Until he didn't.

What he had said to Zoe was true, she had surprised him. She spoke her mind, was herself, and did things **her** way. She also cared about everyone... even Taker. She was able to care about him even after he tried to kill her and she **knew** he had. She was even willing to try and create a new body for him at the drop of a hat. And Taker... all he had seen her as was a means to an end. At least, that's what he thought about it at first. But now he realized that at some point, he had started caring about Zoe too. He was curious about her life, her interests, her methods, and feared for her wellbeing when she made a dangerous gamble with another specimen. And now, he felt... shame.

He was ashamed that he wasn't the benevolent force that Zoe had made him out to be. He felt like he lied to her, deceived her. And had it not been for... whatever she was doing now, his actions would have costed her her life.

He was unworthy of her kindness, not good enough for her friendship. But the idea of revealing his true intentions to her now, and breaking her trust... it was completely unbearable. But maybe he didn't have to. Maybe if he continued blocking out the still nagging thoughts of taking and taking in his mind, he could at least try to be that person. It seemed like a pretty good way to repay her for all she had done for him.

"Yes." He said at last. "I did not think she had that power, but now that I do I can better protect myself in the future. Though I wish I hadn't let my guard down like I did."

Zoe grins. "Meh, it's okay, no harm done. Besides, you have your body back now! And wow! Those are some insane magic powers you got there! I can totally understand why you wanted them back so badly."

* * *

We pick ourselves off the floor, untangling from one another. That was definitely experience that I doubt either of us will forget for a long time.

Taker glances around the room, eying the holes in the ground and the axe in the wall. "What exactly happened? The last thing I remember is you singing to Specimen 13, and now... this."

"Oh, that's a really long story. You see-"

"Nooooooo!" I'm interrupted by a loud inhuman screech. It's Spooky. She flies in through a wall, looking absolutely furious. "No, no, nooooooooooo! Why won't either of you just **die!?"**

As she zooms at an unthinkable speed straight for me, it's at that crucial moment that I realize: she's got a knife. **And there's no time to react.**


	26. In Which The Adventure Draws To A Close

Whenever I imagined what it might be like to get stabbed, I always thought it would be excruciating. Like the feeling of getting a tetanus shot, but larger and stronger. I'd double over and collapse because of it, and my blood would oozes out of the gaping wound. Maybe my life would flash before my eyes as my soul prepared to release from this mortal coil.

But that wasn't what happened. Instead, as Spooky savagely speared her nastily pointed blade into my abdomen, it wasn't actually painful. Instead, there was a sudden burst of cold that began where the blade made contact, blossoming outward. As if a metal spout had been inserted into me and then turned on, pouring ice water into my insides.

But it didn't stop there. It seemed that Spooky didn't have a feasible way of stopping herself, and her whole hand plunged into my body, followed by her arm, and then the rest of her. It was a terribly strange feeling having a ghost go through you, extremely cold and uncomfortable. What did it feel like for her; could she touch my insides? The remaining chills in my stomach alerted me that I had much more important things to think about now though, so I looked down to address them as soon as I was sure all of the ghost girl had finished its journey.

On first glance, I seemed to be just fine. No gigantic stab-wound, no blood, not even torn clothing. Careful explorations with my hands confirmed that yeah, I was fine. My stomach was completely unscathed. Seeing this made me feel absolutely giddy. That was the closest to death I'd ever come in my life, but I had survived! And now I knew why Spooky needed the specimens: since she was a ghost, that meant she couldn't touch me, or any other living human. She couldn't hurt me at all! That, combined with the fact that I was still alive and unharmed, bubble up inside of me like a freshly opened can of soda being poured into a glass. And I started to laugh. I laughed for all to hear, for I now knew who was going to win. And it wasn't Spooky.

"Oh, come ooooooon!" Said ghost wined from somewhere behind me. A quick look at her revealed that she was pouting, stomping her foot with her hands on her hips like an angry toddler. "I can't believe I forgot!"

I continued laughing, wrapping my arms around myself as a way to try and get rid of the chills still lingering in my body. "Oh, S-Spooky!" I wheeze. "You can't get rid of me that easily! You should know better than that by now!"

Just then another voice piped up. "What's going on?"

I whirled around. It's been a while since I'd heard it, but I knew who it belonged to: Ringu. Sure enough, there she was. "We heard some strange noises; are we too late?"

"Nope!" I chirped, probably grinning madly. "You're just in time! Come on in, everybody!"

"W-wait!" Spooky for her part looked quite confused at this turn of events. "Specimen 4? What—"

Whatever else she was planning to say was abruptly cut off by the sudden deafening onslaught of noise. A bunch of yells, shrieks, growls and roars all resounding as one. My heart did a little happy dance as I saw that every specimen I had encountered (with the exception of 13) had come to fight! There was Goopboy, the spiderpeed, the mannequin, the puppet merchant, The Cat [with her other half that loomed behind everyone], the Deerlord with quite a few of his children, the alien lab assistant hybrid, Ron, Richard, and even some shadow students that Ringu must have brought along. I dare say we had put together quite the army.

Spooky just stood there for a moment, mouth agape. "But... I thought I stopped this!"

"You can **never** stop the CHU!" I proclaim proudly. I then address the crowd of specimens. "Thank you all so much for coming. I'm sure that if we all work together, we'll achieve the changes we want to see? What are those changes, you're wondering? Well..." I stand up straighter and move to a part of the room where I could better be seen by everyone. It was speech time!

"When I first entered this mansion, I didn't know what I was getting into. But then, I met Taker, and that changed everything. We faced danger after danger, specimen after specimen, jump scare after jump scare. But through it all, I still had time to think about the options placed before me. I could join Spooky's ghost army and destroy everything I love," I motion towards Spooky. "I could give in to violent temptations and become a specimen," I don't motion towards my comrades for obvious reasons. "Or I could let this mansion claim me and have my soul either be sentenced to eternal torment, or be used for one of the options above. Well I've thought about it, and I made my decision. You wanna know what I chose?"

Everyone seems to be waiting with bated breath. Spooky looks like she's trying to look nonchalant, but I can tell I have her undivided attention. With a poop-eating grin I fling my arms up dramatically and proclaim: "I choose option D! **None of the above!"** I bring my arms back down, placing my hands firmly on my hips. "No more will innocent people be forced to give up their souls for a kid's selfish fantasy! No more will supernaturals be forced to harvest them!"

"But I kinda liked har—" I'm not sure who said that, but they were silenced quickly so I payed them no mind, choosing instead to speak directly to the cause of all this bullcrap.

"This is my free will, my soul, and I'm not afraid to fight for it!" My allies roar in agreement.

Rather than looking panicked like I hoped she would, or better yet surrendering then and there, Spooky only looked... disappointed. "Well... I gotta say that this is mighty fine work on your part, and I'll give ya an A for effort, but I'm afraid I'm gunna have to stop it now. Sorryyyyy." She informed me of this like a mother would tell her kid that they needed to stop playing video games and go to bed.

Then suddenly, as if by magic, the room was filled with ghosts. Spirits of all ages, genders and skin colors, undoubtedly brought here with a silent summons by Spooky. I can't help but gawk a little when I realize that this is the ghost army that she had been working on for all these years. Even though I now knew they couldn't hurt me even if they wanted to, the sight of them still made me nervous. What if they could do something to the specimens? We might be in trouble...

Spooky addresses them calmly. "Men: there is a threat to our cause. Please take care of it."

 **"NO!"** With a thunderous cry, a man pushed and shoved his way to the front. That hat... and that pen he held... could it be?

"My experience with you has been anything but romantic, and I have grown very weary of things as they are. I believe that this lovely young maiden is correct; it is high time things changed around here!" It was! It was the romantic guy who had written the notes all those rooms ago, and who I had had a little funeral for! And it looked like he wanted to join our ranks!

The romantic guy addresses me now. "If you will have me, I swear on my immortality that I will fight valiantly for your cause."

I don't hesitate. "Never call me a lovely young maiden again and you've got yourself a deal!"

Eagerly, he moved to join the others. Some of them looked a bit hesitant, but didn't actively disagree with my choice.

But that wasn't the end of the surprises. Next a teenage boy who seemed to be around my age makes his way to the front. "I've watched enough movies and TV to know what's about to happen, so you can bet I'm choosing the winning sides." He proclaims and joins my army, revealing himself to be the trope obsessed victim that I had also read notes from.

"Welcome to the CHU!" I greet him warmly.

"Thanks," He says. "It's good to finally know who the protagonist of this story is."

Then a woman steps up. "You seem to lack a lot of survival skills, but you still did a lot better than I. I suppose it could be because you knew they weren't really hallucinations... nevertheless, it's good to finally have another option other than spending eternity in a ghost army." Thus the survivalist victim joins my group.

Soon, there were tones of ghosts now ready to fight for their freedom on our side. The few who stayed with Spooky were now looking extremely nervous.

"Uh, Spook?" One said. "I don't know if we can do this."

"Relax, it'll be fine. We just need to—"

"Uh, we would like to join, too."

We all turn to see that a group of people in white lab coats had come from seemingly nowhere. The one who spoke, a man who looked to be in his late forties, wore a badge with the letters _GLA_ written on it, with the name _Garry_ scribbled over it in permanent marker. It looked as though he'd done that quite recently.

Spooky looked dumbfounded. "What? You too? Really?!"

The generic lab assistant whose name was supposedly Garry looked at Spooky coldly. "We are sick and tired of risking our lives for your hair-brained schemes at minimum wage. It's about time someone could liberate us from this hell on Earth."

"A-are you sure about this? I mean, the more the marrier, but—"

Garry turns to me. "Kid, I have not seen my loved ones in more than **sixty years** because of this brat. If there is some way, **any** way I could possibly get outa this, you bet your bippies I'm gunna do it!"

"Well alrighty then, welcome to the team!"

At once, all the lab workers tore off their badges and ran to join us. One of them lost his footing and stumbled into Ringu who nearly ate him, but a fierce look from Taker dissuaded her.

"Oh boy," the ghost from before said. "Now I **really** don't think we can do this."

I smirk. "Well, I know what **we're** doing, **CHAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"** And all hell breaks loose.

I must say it was really quite amusing to see Spooky and what was left of her army scatter like a group of startled chickens. As much as it would be fun to help, I didn't feel like it would be the best idea to get in the midst of all those bloodthirsty specimens. Instead I carefully made my way towards Taker, who seemed to be trying to get my attention.

"What's up?" I shouted over the din.

"I have some bad news."

"Oh? What is it?" I wasn't really that worried, seeing as I'd pretty much won at this point.

"There is no door in this room anywhere. At least, not one leading outside. Spooky never intended for anyone to leave once they entered, so I suppose she didn't see the point."

I sigh. "Oh, **great!** That means I gotta go **all the way back?"**

"I'm afraid so."

"Wait, are you sure it'd be okay for me to leave now? I mean we're kinda in the middle of the final battle."

"I'm positive. You have done more than enough to insure our victory. All I need to do now is wait for them to tire themselves out, and then wrap this up. It will be easy."

"Oh! Well... okay." Truthfully, it was kinda hard to believe that my adventure was coming to an end. Sure it was good to know that I had been successful, but at the same time it was a little sad. But there were probably a lot more adventures waiting in the future, and I was really excited to **finally** go home. There were some points when I thought I wouldn't be able to.

"Well then, I guess this is it. I'll just start my journey back then." But then an idea hits me, and I can't help but smirk. "Unless... unless you carry me back!"

Taker looks bewildered. "...What?"

"Oh, come on. You said yourself that it's gunna take some time for them to poop out, and you're so strong I bet I won't weigh anything. And I bet you're a heck of a lot faster, too. Plus it'll make us even for you attacking me earlier... even though that wasn't really your fault, but still!"

Taker's expression clearly said 'how did I get myself into this?' but he still agreed in the end. "...Fine."

I then found myself being lifted into the air with a couple of shadow hands, and plopped onto Taker's back where I clung on. Then we were off, moving through the rooms at a truly impressive speed. I was getting a **piggy back ride** from **The Taker.** I wonder what all those people who said that I'd never make it would say now...

Only a few incredibly fun minutes later, and we'd made it. We were back at the start of Spooky's mansion. Taker lowered me carefully to the ground again, and I stood on slightly wobbly legs before that big, heavy door that I had entered oh so long ago. Before exiting it though, I turn back to Taker one more time.

"Before I go, I just wanna say thank you for everything. I never would have been able to do all this without you."

"And I you," He replies. Wow, it's funny how only a few words can make you feel so good inside.

"I hope everything goes well after this."

"I will find a way to keep you in the loop," Taker promises. "But for now, go home and get some rest. You have more than earned it."

"Oh, totally! I'm **pooped!"**

And then, after one last hug, I turn towards the door and pull it open. It doesn't squeak at all this time, but that's the last thing I'm focusing on.

As I step out into the fresh air and the door closes behind me, it's like my exhaustion completely melts away. "YAHOOOO!" I exclaim, jumping and dancing for joy as I laugh and cheer. "I did it! I did it! I survived the mansion! I made it it! Whoopee!"

The beautiful orange red and purple of the sunset shimmers down on me as I continue to celebrate. Or, was it the sunrise? I wasn't sure since I didn't know whether the mansion faced the west or the east. If only I had my phone to check the time...

In any case, I was more than ready to head back to my house where my mom would make a huge fuss over me, cooking me a meal fit for royalty before escorting me to my room where I could have a good long sleep in my own bed. Then, when I woke up, I could tell her all about my adventure, and the amazing and horrifying things I saw.

With a great feeling of relief, I see that my beautiful purple Shwen trike is still parked exactly where I left it. I swing my backpack off and into the basket, before putting on my helmet and climbing onto the seat.

As I turned the handle bars back into their forward position and allowed myself to coast down the hill, it felt as though I was flying. Sure I was going to have a lot to explain to everyone, and there may still be some difficulties with getting the mansion in order, but one thing was perfectly clear. We had done something truly extraordinary.

THE END


	27. Epilogue

Jeremy swung his baseball bat lazily by his side as he made the relatively easy stroll towards the mansion. He couldn't believe the nerve of that Zoe kid! Why'd she have to go and actually survive the mansion? The fact that no one had was the only thing that excused him from Kyle and Jason's dare. Now, he had no choice but to go in.

He didn't think Zoe's elaborate stories of the monsters that lived inside were true, he really didn't. He just brought this bat along because it was only natural to have some form of self-defense when entering an unknown place like this. At last he reached the mansion, and climbed the hill. The door was extremely difficult to open, but that was just because the hinges were rusty. Not because the workout sessions he bragged to his friends about never actually happened, no of course not. Finally he got the stupid thing to open, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight that greeted him. "What the—"

Behind the door was a tiny room no bigger than a bathroom stall. Taped on the back wall was a crudely written note:

* * *

_Entrance error 46358:_

_Mansion closed for maintenance._

_Estimated time until reopening: Undetermined_

_Sorry for the inconvenience._

* * *

Jeremy gritted his teeth in frustration, allowing the door to bang shut again. How was he supposed to explain **this** to the boys?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that: that's it. That story is complete. Thank you to everyone who joined me for the ride. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to... oh who am I kidding, stay tuned for the sequel. It will be coming out next year, as I think that'll be a good way to start it.


End file.
